I was driving on the way to work today, and I came to the conclusion that I needed to do something different. It dawned on me that I needed to learn how to do something that I didn't already know how to do.
Pass the buck.
Cause, truth be told, you can pass the buck or get thrown under the bus.
See, that is the subject matter of a soon to be written "Congruency of The Damned" blog(coming soon).
Let me tell you what happened.
So I am coming in the office, doing my end of the night stuff, and I see this thing squirming around on the ground. I was like, "That looks like a snake"
OH SHIT, THAT'S A SNAKE.
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| This Picture Posted cause Sex Sells |
So I ain't even gonna lie, I was half tempted to pick it up and walk it outside, then one of my coworkers say's
"Hey Ken, you know baby snakes are more dangerous than adult snakes cause they will release all their venom at once".
FUCK!
Well there goes my plan.
Then he say's, "Oh, and they can lunge the length of their body"
I started to be like, "Well that's not true", then I realize the punchline to my new favorite joke.
Wanna hear it?
What's the difference between a person with a contrary attitude and a person with a contrary attitude that is knowledgeable about any given situation? Nothing, they are both douche bags.
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| Next Level Babysitting Technique |
Two of my best ideas are easily the worst idea ever, and you know they say always go with your best idea.
So I keep calm and dump a hygiene box full of hygine stuff and stack that and cover the snake with it and then place an even heavier bin on top of it.
Now I can finally think.
I seriously had half a mind to leave all of that in the office and let 3rd or even 1st shift handle it. I mean, it's not like I haven't come to work to have to deal with something that someone else could have taken care of...
Whoa!
Save it for later.
So this little fucker was all kinds of pissed, I mean it was hissing,lunging, doing all kinds of snake shit so I slide the bin and the snake out of my office. After I took a picture of me doing what I just described.
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| Full Mount on a Snake |
Seriously, we live in a world where people document every single aspect of their insignificant lives to share with the world. Tyler Durden said, "You are not a unique snowflower" I am saying that no one cares about the meal you ate at this restaurant that yelp gave "$$$" out of 5. No one cares that you got some drink that is garnished with fruit all pretty like, and you know what ladies
That hand at the hip pose is really, really, getting old.
So, halfway from getting the snake out of "MY" office, I realized that I probably should keep the snake. I mean, I bet if this snake was in my office no one would have stolen my phone charger.
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| Check those Cocain White Kicks |
Yeah I still feel some sort of way about it.
Anyway so I finally get the snake almost to the door, and it is actually photo time again. The difference between this one and the last one is that this is my victory pose on this beast. Not to be confused with my conquering pose on the other one.
I get the snake out of the building, no one gets bit by a pissed off venom filled snake, and I looked good doing it.
After the two weeks I have had, I needed to deal with a regular ol snake in the grass, and not the metaphorical one.
Oh, and I found a video that pretty much sums the entire 25 minute fiasco, I mean...you know I had to do it
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