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Sunday, October 9, 2011

KenNitro vs The Workforce: SMARTEN UP, DUMB IT DOWN

Would you like to know the secret of having a long career in whatever job it is that you find yourself doing so that it can ultimately turn into a career?

The answer is simple really

SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH

Seriously, companies do enjoy the innovation and fresh ideas that come from people in a workforce that are happy with what they are doing and how they are treated. Unfortunately companies do not run themselves, people do, and what do we know about people?

People are stupid

So if you are thinking about some great new thing that is going to make that thing work better or at least be more comfortable for the people that are doing that thing, then the only thing I can say to you is this:

“You doing too much”

I know, I know, you are saying right now, that’s not true, the open door policy at my job is based on the fact that I can go to my supervisor and speak to them about anything and have it either considered or brought up for discussion with other higher ups because at the end of the day, it will only improve the company.

You doing too much

Chances are, if you are doing too much, you have been doing too much, and you will probably continue to do too much, so telling you to stop is an exercise in futility so I might as well give you some weapons to arm yourself for the career long battle you are going to be in(with some real world examples).

First thing, come to terms with the fact that you are smarter than your boss/immediate supervisor/lead/Indian chief or whatever, and they already hate you for it. So if you come up with an idea, just know that the word “NO” is waiting for you as soon as you say, “Hey, you got a few minutes I had this idea…” If you want to actually get what you need done, you are going to have to make these…mouth breathers think that this idea is actually their own.

Case in point, years ago I worked for Airtran Airlines and I was elected to a position called agent council which in theory was a group of crewmembers that would act as a liaison between the rank and file and middle management so that the wants, needs, and desires of workforce could be heard, discussed, and implemented if they were feasible and were mutually beneficial to the company.

Look Healthy people that like their jobs
This is the idea I came up with, a gym membership package for everyone in the call center. The info is out there on how exercise keeps you healthy, which in turn, keeps you working, which pretty much is a win-win for all involved.  Now, this is what happened.

I went out on my own time and did all the leg work, did a comparison of the gyms in carrollton and met with the managers of each one and managed to put together a deal that was PRETTY F’N SWEET.  I brought it all back to the agent council, just for it to be shut down for no real apparent reason, as a constellation I was able to present it to crewmembers, with no support from agent council and to my knowledge there is still no corporate membership in carrollton.

I wish they would have listened to KenNitro
It made no sense to me at the time, and my good friend and mentor Dr. Octagon explained it to me like this, “Kenny Envy, what you need to understand is that if you have an idea, and the ability to implement it but fail to include the attitudes and egos of your peers, they will turn it down based on that reason alone”.

no caption needed
I not so secretly wanted to high-five everyone on that council in the face with a ball-peen hammer, except for one person and they know who they are. If you want to avoid those kinds of feelings what you need to do is get smart and dumb your idea down.  Make these walking oxygen stealers that you have to tolerate on a daily think that this was their idea in the first place, it can’t be that hard…these people are idiots.

Second, you need to have a thick skin.

See haters are going to hate, so what you have to do is never under any circumstances react to anything that you interpret as an act of passive aggressiveness. If you were to react, you will have fallen for the trap and the haters will be one step closer to their goal.

By no means am I saying do not act, just do not act as they do.

proud sponsor of haters worldwide
For instance, one day at the facility, I went and used the bathroom and one of my coworkers decided to leave the island and look for me. As I emerged from the porcelain throne, my coworkers told me of how one of my other coworkers was looking for me and my response was, “For what?” No one knew.

My phone rings and it is a supervisor and the conversation goes like this:

Supervisor: Where you at?
KenNitro: I’m at work
                                                                      Supervisor: I know that, but where are you?
                                                                      KenNitro: On the island
                                                                      Supervisor: CLICK

So at this point, the co worker in question comes back to the island, claiming that they were sent on a wild goose chase by other coworkers to find me for a reason that to this day is still unknown. Perk, just said, “ain’t nobody send you no where”

Shortly after that, one of my supervisors brought it up to me about me that my coworkers are claiming that I am slacking on the paperwork, but I like to do activities.  This to me, was the first act of open aggression and I handled it this way, and you should too if you want to WIN

I sent out an email, telling my coworkers what was told to me by supervision that was apparently told to them by them, and I asked in earnest what I could do to improve my work performance. I sent this email to everyone and included my supervisor so that any and all responses would be sent to him also. There were none, and when the subject was brought up again I referenced that email and the lack of responses.

That being said, understand there are going to be haters and if you want to not be drowned in haterade, you will need to control what the haters can attack, and make sure your work performance is where it is suppose to be.


"seed of the wawa tree"

symbol of hardiness, toughness and perseverance
For instance, right now at my job, folks really dislike my hair, but if the only thing a person can say is that they don’t like my afro at my job, then I suppose I am doing an ok job.  I am sure, if  I wasn’t the haters would let me know.
Haters are thoughtful like that.

Lastly, Stay focused.

Since you clearly are doing too much and you will have all of this passive aggressive negative energy surrounding you on the daily, a person such as yourself will at some point want to confront potential haters, relegate yourself to getting your eight hours in and that’s all, or find another job and start this vicious cycle all over again.

 Don’t let people run you off from a job that you love or just happen to be good at it, because they are not so secretly horrible people.