Suffering is Repeated Until The Lesson is Learned

By Courtney Matthews Roberts

Another tragedy on a grand scale. Is this the first? No. Is this the greatest number? No. Will this be the last? No. We have applied a flawed logic system to these events and linking gun control to the problem whereas mental health has caused the vast majority of all our mass shootings.

 Gun control does not work as someone with a criminal mindset will just procure one illegally. Look at the crime rates in Australia as a result of removing all guns. Home invasions with a firearm and while the home owner is present jumped 300%. That means they quadrupled! If someone is willing to rob a bank they will buy a gun in order to do it. If they are deranged enough to look at a screaming, crying 5 year old child and shoot them they will have no problem buying an illegal weapon to do it. Look to Australia and their, nearly doubled, crime rate after making guns illegal. In 2007 the total number of homicides by guns was right at 9000 but the total number of suicides was almost 33000. With over half of those coming from firearms. Did anyone lose their shit over this? No. Did you hear even ONE politician on mainstream media point out how big a deal this is? No. Instead we talk about gadgets, money, and war. This disgusts me to no end.

This is not meant to detract from the tragedies that have occurred via mass shootings over the years but it does point to a greater problem. Our mental health-care needs some drastic improvement and that doesn't mean just handing out more drugs. Real help for real people. We are going to get more coverage for people as the health-care laws go into effect but that doesn't mean the quality of care will improve. It needs to on all levels. Nearly every mass shooting has been committed by a person with mental issues requiring much more than Kleenex Tissues.

 As far as gun control goes look at the studies done on violent crime rate compared to the percentage of gun owners and you will see the countries with higher gun ownership have less crime committed with guns. Understood there are numerous social and economical differences that can't be accounted for numerically, like Sweden's mandatory service laws, but you would be surprised how much of a difference it makes when the criminal element knows most people are carrying a firearm. Removing guns does not equate to removing crime. How any thinking person can somehow come to that conclusion is mind boggling. In our very own state this was proven.

 For some Georgia news in 1982, Atlanta suburb Kennesaw required all households to have a gun. The residential burglary rate subsequently dropped 89 percent in Kennesaw, compared to the modest 10.4 percent drop in Georgia as a whole. Ten years later the residential burglary rate in Kennesaw was still 72 percent lower than when the ordinance was passed. I am NOT advocating this as a solution (I think it was actually fairly irresponsible to force people to have a gun in the home) merely using it to point the flawed thinking that removing guns will somehow make us safer.

 Researcher Gary Kleck found that 92 percent of criminal attacks are deterred when a gun is merely shown (or, rarely, a warning shot fired). By inference, this means that open carry would have the effect of deterring crime in the same way that a thief might choose another restaurant when he sees police eating at his intended target. A 1985 Department of Justice survey of incarcerated felons reported that 57 percent of the felons polled agreed that "criminals are more worried about meeting an armed victim than they are about running into the police." (I would love to quote a more recent source but we don't poll inmates that often, this is probably something we should do more of)

 There are 135 million gun owners in this country and over 300 million people in it. That means only 43% of the country owns guns and those that do own an average 2 firearms. We have nearly made them a taboo in some states and thankfully the supreme court turns over the no handgun laws. When open carry laws were passed each and every state saw reduced crime rates for everything from theft and rape to murder and grand larceny. If we make firearms a taboo we shouldn't be surprised when the criminal or mentally distressed persons make exclusive use of them. We are the most violent and destructive race on the planet, violence is almost second nature to us.

 I think we are moving in the right direction with the decriminalization of naturally existing drugs, nearly universal health-care, and allowing medical research that was once banned. I think that we should educate people more, teach better ways of dealing with life from a young age, advance people's personal liberties, ensure basic needs are met, and show true concern for our neighbors that we had only a few generations ago. If we can even just start a few of these things in the coming year this country will change drastically. I believe for the better.

 There are a lot of financial, medical, environmental, social, and governmental reforms that need to happen in this country but we can do it over time. For the sake of our fellow countrymen and children we must. This was made painfully evident to me when traveling overseas with the Navy. I learned why a lot of cultures do not like the way we do things and I saw other ways to live, love, and learn. Some of these things are on a federal level but a lot of things can be done on the local level. Our society has lost sight of a lot of hard learned lessons. We almost love to hate one another and it is tragic.

 We need to stop forcing l people into cliques and alienating the different groups from one another. Compassion and mutual respect comes through understanding; but, fear, hate, and violence comes from alienation. Nowhere is that more evident than our political system and it spreads like a disease to all aspects of our society. This is not some hippy-dippy call for peace and tree hugging. This is meant to be a wake-up call for our country and the world as a whole. Let it be known that all the statements above are not reasons why anyone is wrong but rather things I believe to be true. If you think your ideas are true and mine are false then explain them. I have been wrong many times before and am not afraid to admit it. Healthy debate has been lost in our everyday society, let's change that. Also I apologize for the painful mental image afforded in the first paragraph but it was necessary to convey the point. It disgusts me to even think about it for a moment btw it is something we all must do. Thanks for listening to my stream of consciousness. Some sites you may want to look at as a food for thought are below. Both sides of the fence are supported below.

http://www.fraserinstitute.org/publicationdisplay.aspx?id=13506

http://timelines.latimes.com/deadliest-shooting-rampages/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_firearm-related_death_rate

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/14/statistics-firearms-industry_n_2303336.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003

http://www.michaelmoore.com/words/mike-friends-blog/its-guns-we-all-know-its-not-really-guns

http://www.stratfor.com/weekly/20110209-mexicos-gun-supply-and-90-percent-myth

http://www.npr.org/2011/02/08/133505880/at-end-of-the-line-prison-an-unlikely-escape

http://www.policyalmanac.org/crime/archive/firearms_and_crime.shtml

Giving the Game Away: Continuing Education, Watch For The Hook!!!

Hey folks, Imma talk to you on some real live shit right here. See I have given the game away see here, here, and here, so read that shit if you ain’t up on game. Now in the mean time I have been away from the computer you know living life. Cause I mean in order to bring it to you, I got to get it myself ya dig.

You know what I have found?

hands down, chin out, BOOM!!!

I found that no matter how much knowledge you gain on the opposite sex, women will ALWAYS have the upper hand. They make the best liars, cheaters, and all things evil in this world. The only thing we(men)can do is to arm ourselves the best we can. So on that note, if there is anything men need to do is  WATCH FOR THE HOOK

See, men get hooked a couple of different ways, but no one and I mean no one ever gets up in the morning and say’s, “You know what, I want some chick to have me all wide open and shit to where I can’t make a good decision to save my mammy life” So when a guy gets hooked it is just like in Boxing, the hook comes after a well placed set up. Ain’t no chick out there throw’in haymakers hoping for the best and being successful at it. Shit that is what they want you to think.

God said the meek shall inherit the earth, but cold pimpin is only for the strong. Can you dig that?

So let’s get to it, what kind of hooks are we talkin bout Ken?

Calm down, we gonna get into that. First you have to understand how you end up on the hook in the first place. The most common way of being hooked is to disregard the idea of being hooked in the first place. When you think you are above it, you are open for it. Miyamoto Musashi said, “the only sword you see is the one that kills you” But some real pimps said this: 

What that has to do with one another, everything. If you don’t keep your situation in control you are going to wake up one day and realized that every decision you made is based on some sort of hook that got you fucked all the way up.

Everyone gets the hook,

The short hook.

Before we get into this tool used by women, lets talk about how it looks. Imagine yourself at the bar, the club, hell even a covered dish dinner. Now peep that one chick that just has this guy circling around her like a damn satellite infiltrating on all conversations watching the movements of everything happening around and what not? You want to know something about satellites; no one gives a fuck about satellites. So when a chick has that short hook in you, you are pretty much following her around the spot hoping that she gives you a little bit of attention, but really you are just there floating around Hooked…looking like a bitch.

Next on the list is another type of hook that sometimes works in conjunction with the aforementioned hook. I call it the “Fish Hook”, the fish hook just like the actual fish hook used in fishing is a sneaky sum bitch INDEED.

You ever watch fishing on ESPN, me either, but that’s beside the point. The point it, these fish were minding they muthafuckin business when some shit looked good too them, then BLAM!!! They asses got jacked from doing whatever the fuck they was doing and thrown in a cooler with some other BITCH ass fish. This is sad, because the fish actually thought he was coming up on something, but in reality he got HOOKED.

Is this you?

How this works in real life is when chicks that YOU hit up trying to see what’s up ain’t got nothing for ya. I am not saying that playing you like a 10 cent fiddle. Just whenever it is YOUR idea to do something, whether simple or extravagant, bitch is ghost. Now check it, you fuck round and get a call or a text message, and yo ass is jumping like G fo O.

LAME

The worst is that you sit around telling yourself that it’s ok, you weren’t doing anything to begin with so it’s not like you are going out cause she is making you do it. I mean, hell I was just gonna sit back and see what some other chicks that might actually be down to get it in, but I been trying to get at this one for a minute so you know Imma fucks with her, you know…So here you are scrambling to get to the spot so you can stand in line to talk to this chick…and every other dude that she has texted to meet her at the spot, lookin like a REAL BITCH, that’s you. You make me sick.

I told you, women got this shit in their DNA. Now don’t do anything stupid like try to tell a chick this is what she doing, cause you fucking up on two fronts. 1. You trying to tell a chick what to do, and that never works out in your favor unless your pimpin is on the STRONGEST level. 2. This is instinctual; she can no more control this than a dog can control the urge to lick his nuts. You know, like trying to tell a dude not to eye fuck that chick in the sundress walking around campus. We gonna do it cause the option is that we have no options.

See right about now, I got some readers out there saying, “Ken, you on some other shit. I got plenty of girls that are just my friends”. My response would be, “Yeah one time I slapped the shit out of chuck Norris” then you would say, “What does that have to do what I just said”, and I would say, “Oh, I thought we were just sitting around talking about shit that ain’t true.

the best of the worst situation

But the whole concept of male/female platonic relationships I will tackle another day, but for right now; if you one of those people that believe the women that you call friends are friends. You have been Grappling hooked.

Now a grappling hook is an awesome invention. Ninjas, to Vikings, to cat-burglars all utilize this to get where they need to go or drag what they want to them. Either way, the grappling hook makes everything “At Arms Length” Can you dig it? See, cats playing that position have it in their minds that all they got to do wait and sooner or later they are going to get theirs…and they are right.

Here’s the thing, I have seen a lot of shit in my short time on this earth, but I ain’t never seen anyone cook a meal, one dish at a time. So to be honest being on that grappling hook isn’t the worse situation to be in as long as you got other things going on. Otherwise you are going to be that guy showing up to the spot with a chick that everyone thinks you are with  for about the length it takes for you to walk from the car to the bar and order one drink and after that, you look’in like a real BITCH. Mainly cause she gonna let everybody know passively, unless she on some real disrespectful shit, that yall ain’t nothing. Now if you actually got some business about yourself you are going to find another female to strike up a conversation with, cause posting up at the bar waiting to talk to a chick that is not trying to talk to you is not the move. Nowhere on this earth is that the move, even in togo.

prison(cough)I mean home

The last hook, and probably the most dangerous of them all is a sky hook.

This shit right here, metaphorically speaking, is the worst shit in existence. I mean, in real life the sky hook can lift any problem and take them somewhere else. Seriously, got to move a house but you not trying to drive, get a sky hook. Got some tanks that need to get over this mountain, get a sky hook. Hey guys, you want to find a way to never be able to make a decision without having to text, call, finesse, the wife/girlfriend? Go and get yourself sky hooked.

The good news is that you will never have to worry about anything cause she got you, the bad news is that she got you, and there is nothing you can do about it. It’s like you still living in the house, but if the house you living in was underneath a helicopter 20,000 feet in the air, you aren’t living. You are now TRAPPED.

Ok, maybe it ain’t exactly like that, but I know too many guys out there secretly suffering in their relationships. Sure they aren’t exactly unhappy, but at the same time, they aren’t getting exactly everything they want. Now, men never claimed to be complicated. There is only a few things a woman needs to do in order to keep her man happy. Laugh at his jokes, have a suggestion if what he suggested isn’t yo thang, and give us a blow job without us having to ask for it. Seriously, you want to see an immediate change in your mans behavior, give’em some head out of no where.

But that’s the thing about being sky hooked, you have to ask for everything. If you not asking for whatever it is you want to do, you are doing it with the knowledge that you are going to have to pay for this down the road.

In my personal experience having fun without your lady present is the most expensive tax that can be levied on an individual.  Sky hooked folks know what I am talking about, you got to work twice as hard to get out the house half as much, just to get a little time with the bro’s and your phone best be charged and text messages best be returned promptly, and that is if you get to go in the first place.

Remember guys, whatever situation you are in, it’s YOUR FAULT. Don’t let my words be mistaken for me placing blame on women for being women; I am placing blame on you because walked into this head first.

So now you know, and what you do with the situation is entirely up to you(don’t be a bitch).

Oh and follow ya boy on Instagram @KenNitro I think I'm loving that more than twitter

KenNitro Vs The Facility: I Lied To Myself

Last year, I can't really even say when but a friend of mine by the name of Jimmy James Jordan made a suicide pact. The deal was that if we were working at the Facility by the end of the summer we were going to kill ourselves. The best part was that the big homie Furious George overheard the conversation and was like, "Dude can I get in on that?"

I know, joking about suicide is never the right thing to do, but If you work were I work at the seriously inappropriate, becomes seriously funny. Truth is, work wasn't fun anymore.

And here is why.

See working on the island, a name that I came up with in order to talk about work without the haters finding out, We brought order to chaos and brought civility to the savages. For almost 2 years we kept it in check without a leader or supervisor or any of those things that sometimes ruin a good time.

Now, this is going to go all over the place but in the end, it is going to all make sense.

One day, in a side conversation I am told that an individual who is considered "Strong Staff"(basically someone that is able and capable) was making a move to another department and that I should keep that to myself because "them folks"(quite possibly the people in charge of the department that they were moving from) were unaware of the head fake. At the same time rumors of a team leader position opening up on the island, thunderdome, and the berry. See, them folks had already removed one of the island's best and moved him over there as the team leader, the person that they wanted to be on the berry actually turned it down, and the island chosen leader had an issue with a background check so they were back to square one.

At this point everyone on this island, decided to apply for this job, considering the fact that we all have been working solidly together, and that no one(including the kids)wanted to have to deal with an outsider coming in trying to take over. The crazy part was that no one got an interview.

STOP

You mean to say, that a whole department of people, who them folks would point out that we have more experience collectively on campus than any other real, no one got an interview?

Ok, so they hire this guy, nice guy. Really good friends with the person that I mentioned earlier that gave me the low down on about that strong staff moving to a different department. I basically trained him to be my boss, I say basically cause for a hot second no one wanted to work with him period.

Ken's a team player

While all of this was going on, yours truly was trying to get in as a CSI(community support individual)because it paid more, gave me more control of my hours, and I would get to work with kids individually. To be honest, everyone I know that knows me was soooo supportive of that move, but for the longest time I could not get that interview. I had all the main parts, two years working direct care, psych/soci degree(I have a minor), but the fact was I had all the puzzle pieces. So what was the deal?

Apparently, Eric Banks, the gentlemen that was my boss, allegedly would purposely ask CSI not hire people from direct care, due to the long process of hiring, training, and cultivating "Strong Staff". He didn't want them leaving the units for a job that paid more, less hours, more control of your life. And somehow all of this was suppose to be a testament as to how good I was on the unit, that I can't leave cause I am sooooooo good at my job.

BITCH PLEASE

So I finally got an interview for the CSI gig, and if you ask me I killed it. Hell, that is the only info I know cause afterwards I didn't hear anything else about it, NO FEEDBACK, positive or negative. It is like I just sat in this chicks office and shot the shit about how awesome I am, how I have a positive rapport with all of the kids, and how that because I live close in the community I am available and capable of showing kids alternative and positive ways of dealing with society.

The best part is that the person doing the hiring sees me in the hallway weeks later with shit to say to me. That's fine, I know what it is. One of the people that I trust the most at work advised me to follow up with her and see what's going on, but I can't do that.

I already have a job here.

If I was trying to get in then me calling and following up would be a top priority, but I am already on the payroll. It takes all of 10 minutes out of the day to say, "Ken, kick rocks" or "Ken, you in" and get dat thang moving, but instead you want to look me in the eye and act as if I never interviewed for the shit.

"Ken, you are entirely to brilliant to work here"- Brother Swanson
"Ken, I never did half the shit you did, but I have gotten twice the credit for it"- Coach
"Ken, the problem is that you do stuff that gets you respect from your coworkers, but not the people in the front office" Todd da bodd

Not my words, but the words of people I work with.

We haven't even gotten to the GOOD SHIT yet.

Ok, so after I came back from vacay out there in San Francisco with the big home Mean Gene Lantern, I came back to find my schedule looking like this: 7am-10am Monday-Friday with an 7-3 shift on saturday and sunday off. I was originally like, "Oh yall trying to set a nigga up fo the okey doke" See, I've seen this before. The supervisor on the island before the shift in reality once took me off the schedule for two weeks and then was trying to fill out "job abandonment" paperwork cause I took the time off to go out of town for a LOOONNNGGG MINUTE. So when I see this, I start thinking geometrically. No one at the facility ever gets fired for one particular thing. What happens is that they make the decision to fire you over an issue, and then six or so months later they have The Good King come and do the dirty work, and that is if they at least respect you. The other option is that they wait for you to mess up just enough, and then they over play their hand and the only way they can clean it up is to hit you with the "You've been late to work" program.

So you know what I did?

I acted on the situation, but did not react to it.

And this is what happened.

I endeared myself to the people around me. Everyone was happy that there was a person that was able and capable(at the same damn time), the kids were upset to have a second shift GOD OF WAR live and in color early in the morning, but they learned to love it. There is a difference between "The staff" and "THE STAFF". So I would work these punk ass three hour shifts to death, and with very little clock riding...I mean cause I still had the rest of the day to do whatever I wanted. Granted, I had shift a few priorities, but I bought my TV and Xbox knowing a day would come where the only entertainment I could afford would be netflix and video games.
So I rode this out until I got an answer to the question about this totally crazy shift. As it turned out, they were needing a 5th person and they didn't want to put anyone new in that slot and the GOOD KING knew that if  I didn't like it I would tell him, but you know what happened.

I loved it.

Then my co-worker whom for the most part never had much to say to me started to get along and it was good, then she got fired.

So this threw my strange 7am-10am shift, that I was able to totally hang with the TRUTH CREW during got turned into a 7-3 monday through friday. So I am working this job that I have now been thrown into and when it finally came up to apply for I really didn't feel any sort of way about it, until one of the nurses stopped me in the hallway and told me how she felt like I was doing a great job and that I should definitely apply for the position. So I did, I figured if someone actually went out of their way to give me a compliment, I must be doing something right.

So I apply for it

Like I tend to do with any opportunity. I feel like I am a shoe in due to the fact that I am already working the job, I have great relationships with the people that are already in that position, the unit itself has improved with my added presence, and I would finally get a schedule that would allow me to get back to what I love, doing the MARTIAL ARTS. So while all this is happening, word on the street is that they already have who they want chose, and the fix was in! Now, I love honesty, and if that is what it is, let me know, there is no point in fighting a battle if there is ABSOLUTE ZERO chance of winning, unless you want your feelings hurt.

So I asked the Good King what the deal was, and he assured me that to the best of his knowledge the fix was not in and if it was in, he would tell me. That's what I love about that man, no homo.

I turn in all the necessary paperwork, and now I wait, and this is where the fuckery came into play.

The downside to this job was a pay cut, which didn't bother me, because I get paid in peanut shells anyway. So the idea of half of my peanut shells being small rocks was not a big deal to me. However, this was a deal breaker for another candidate...See, there is absolutely no way I can write the next paragraph without me feeling like I am actually hurting someones feelings. I know, I know, I can write what I want and they probably won't see it, but how people feel about the stuff I do has never really concerned me. How I feel about how I do things on the other hand is a big percentage of what I do, so I am going to skip to the interview part of the story.

So on the day of the interview, I brought my favorite purple button down, I normally roll the sleeves up and wear my favorite black cuff, in my rapture jeans and square toes, I am nothing short of unstoppable. I came dressed in the Strength Based Uniform, black shirt, jeans, and sneakers. See I come to work to work, not impress, and if I wear it to work, that means I am okay with it being ripped, spit, bleed, etc. The funny part is that every time I was about to go suit up, I ended up having to hold some kid cause of some issue. I am looking at the clock and I have 10 minutes to get up the hallway, but right now I got this kid held and he refuses to utilize some coping skills so I can go attempt to do something with MY LIFE...breathe out.

So after I get this kid right, I show up to the interview still rockin the Strength Based Uniform, and I explain that I had planned to dress up for this interview, but I just got out of my second hold this morning. We shared a polite laugh at the lunacy of actually trying to plan anything if you work in mental health and we got right into the interview.  Now, if there is one thing in this world I am good at, is the interview. I have legit answers, shared experience, and a personality that compliments any work environment. I felt as though no of the questions were pertinent to the job, my favorite was, "Why do you want to be a CCWI" (don't worry about what that means), and my response was simple but profound. I didn't know I wanted to be one until I was put in that position when my coworker was fired, and all the positive feedback I was getting got me thinking that this was a good move for me to make. Now, the inevitable question came early,


 "You are flex(part-time), and you have had chances to go full time before, why now?"

Hell, aside from the fact that the hours are awesome and I would be able to live some semblance of a life I am accustomed too, I actually create a positive environment on any unit I work on, who do you think named the island the island? Who was the go to guy for the thunderdome way back when? Me, that's who. That and the fact that as a part time employee I can dictate my own vacation, without having to go through the red tape because in theory I am only suppose to work as needed, but the twist is that mental health has such a high turnover rate, and strong staff(capable and able)are so hard to cultivate, the smart move is to always keep me on the squad, otherwise you risk chaos on the shift.

Now apparently during one of their meetings about this whole situation my dedication to the job came into question, see even though I work, 40 hrs a week, outlasted around 12-15 other "full time" people working in the thunderdome, and done some amazing things single handidly, is not enough to prove my worthiness for a position that would ultimately make me happy.

FUCK OUTTA HERE

So I finish the interview and go on about my day.

A week later the lady that interviews me comes while I am doing the job that I just recently applied for and tells me that they went with the other candidate due to seniority. What? I can't even begin to articulate how I felt when I was given this bowl of bullshit, but I just remembered a lesson I learned as a kid which was,"If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". So I just responded with, "Oh, okay". So now when the guy that got the job that everyone applied for, that no one got interviewed for came into work, I casually told him who the new CCW1 was and why they were chosen over me. He looked at me and said,"Well she has been here a while". I very calmly looked at him and said, "If seniority really meant anything around here, I would have YOUR job". He looked at me sighed and said, "yeah that's true".  I left early that day. I was real life upset, and if you know me, you know that I don't apologize for anything I say, because I meant it when I said it, and I was in a real truth telling mood.

Now, let me say this, I do not in any way hold the individual that got the job over me responsible for any of this. After all, they applied for a job, just like me.  What I am upset is the fact that I lied to myself was about the fix being in. I lied to myself thinking that hard work, being reliable, a team player, and all of that jazz would pay off in the end. Remember how earlier I mentioned how I was just patient enough to find out what was up with such a weird ass schedule in the first place. Well, I found out how I became collateral damage on an even bigger fix, but I can't write about what will happen, just what already has.

So what does this mean to you, the reader, if you actually got this far?

I don't know. I personally just want to work at a job where I can be creative and not have to fall victim to the political bullshit at a job. I want a job where a manager or leader or whoever is not afraid of my desire to make things better, because of how threatened they feel.  I do know this though, I am done applying for Jobs at the facility. Hell, I am done with working past my potential there, I am actually done with that place all together.

And thus my journey begins again.