I decided to take a break from writing about the facility for a hot second, you know I have haters. What we all know about haters is that they have nothing better to do than to worry about what you are doing, but the worst thing you can do is give haters something legitimate to hate on you about. Let me tell you about the only thing that my haters have to hate on me about.
My luxurious, awesome, wonderful, spectacular, bone shivering, spine tingling, MY SHOES COST MORE THAN YOUR HOUSE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Hair.
Now, this is nothing new to me.
At work, I have had a few passive and by passive I mean non-official meetings about my hair, and to be honest the only thing I really have to say about these meetings is, “is that all you got?” I mean, if the only thing you can think to drag me into a office about is how somebody else told you that they don’t like my afro, then to be honest, I guess I am pretty damn good at my job. As a matter of fact, this one kid started growing his hair out, and other kids and folks started referring to him as “Mr. Ken jr”, one day I heard the kids call him that and I stepped in with some REAL(CLAP)TALK(CLAP)
And it goes a little something like this:
REAL(CLAP)TALK(CLAP)
…Being me is not a bad gig, to be perfectly honest. To tell you the truth, it is actually pretty f’n awesome to be one Mr. Ken(Nitro). I mean I have lived in a foreign country, I have jumped out of planes, high jacked parades, I am competent in several different styles of martial arts, I have competed overseas, I have fought in cages, I can tie a tie, I have trained in Thailand, I can break bricks with my bare hands, I have also traveled to several other countries. So when you call him Mr. Ken jr, all you are doing is letting me know that somebody over here has the since to pick a winner and start acting like it…
REAL(CLAP)TALK(CLAP)
One of my other favorites was when my supervisor, before the triad, told me that some people where talking about my hair in the negative, but none of them were important so I shouldn’t worry about it. I asked him if he would tell me who they were so I could go talk with them personally. HE WOULDN’T DO IT!!!!!!
What is with that?
I had another kid ask me a simple question that I had to give a complicated answer too he said to me, “Mr. Ken, do people fuck with you about your hair?” I told him no, he replied with, “Well folks want to fuck with me about mine” I retorted with, “Well you are at that age where people can”.
It reminds me how one night at the bar I was telling my friend about how anybody that can look at my resume and decide that they don’t want to hire me based on my hair is the person that has the problem, and while we were on that subject, this mid 40’s-hanging with my wife-viagra chompin-corporate drone jumped into the conversation to interject his point that he works in corporate America and that he wouldn’t hire me at all. I looked at him, winked at his wife and said, “If you couldn’t get past my hair to see my resume, then I probably wouldn’t want to work for you anyway” he gave me this really sheepish grin and decided to walk off and as he grabbed his wife’s hand she says, “No one ever talks to him like that, you should do it more!!!”.
This past Christmas, my aunt wanted to go in on me about my hair, and she says to me, “…you will one day find your Delilah and just like Sampson you are going to cut your hair”
I was like, WHAT!!!!
C’mon now, that was like the worse decision Sampson ever made.
If you don’t know the story here is the short version:
Aight so back in the day God use to hook folks up as long as you keep it real and kept him close. One of them cats on the receiving end was this dude name Sampson. Sampson was given super strength for one purpose, which was to fuck with the philistines. The only thing he had to do was not shave or cut his hair. Easy enough right? Man, this dude is the definition of going in. See on the way to scoop his lady this lion rolled up on him, you know what Sampson did? He ripped that mothafucka in half, and kept it movin. Aight, so when he scooped up his lady and I guess some time later he saw that some bees had made a nest inside of a dead lion, one he prolly killed and forgot about, anyway he took the honey cause well, who gonna stop him?
I am sooo off topic right now but this shit is awesome
Aight , so like I said earlier his whole purpose in life is to fuck with the philistines so my man Sampson starts the beef like this, he tells these folks this riddle and promises them some cool swag if they can solve it. These folks got so butt hurt over not being able to solve it they threatened his wife. So ya boy Sampson killed all of them. So then the father of his lady is feeling some sort of way about how his countrymen just got done by one guy. So he gives his daughter to the best man in the wedding. Sampson sets fire to the town to let people know how he feels about it. The folks then decide that they gonna get the get back from the father in law, cause if he wouldn’t have done what he did, Sampson wouldn’t have set fire to everything they own (Sound logic if you ask me), so they set fire to him and his daughter that Sampson was suppose to get wit in the first place.
Sampson went all the way in again, this time tricking them into thinking that they captured him, and while all 1000 troops got to him, he grabbed the jawbone of a donkey and just got busy with the stroking of the philistines. Could you imagine, I mean if you gonna die during the bronze age or some shit like that it could at least be by the sword or at the old age of 20, but by a donky’s jawbone
C’MON SON!!!!!
So Sampson is doing all this Gangsta shit and nothing can stop him. Then he meets this chick named Delilah, and that was where he fucked up. We all know what happens next, her skank ass jams him up in a twist and he gets got by the philistines.
So I’m like, “AUNTIE!!!! You want me to get got by philistines????” That ain’t cool at all.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not above cutting my hair, but the list of reasons that I will cut my hair is way shorter than the list of reasons that I won’t! For instance, I am not going to cut my hair for an hourly wage. I’m not going to cut my hair, cause you don’t like it, and any other subset of reasons that you may think I should think is important.
2012 is here haters, I hope you have been working out, cause keeping up with me is going to be some work!
OH, BT dubs(you know BTW) like me on facebook!!!
Oh and the person from Latvia that reads my Blog, WHAT UP PIMPIN!!!!
