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Monday, December 26, 2011

A Nook is Not a Book, Real(Clap)Talk(Clap)

By Trista Edwards

So, having studied English literature and creative writing for about nine years I always get three questions, which to me are all equally aggravating—“So, do you want to teach high school?” “Yeah, but how do you teach creative writing?” “How do you feel about the Kindle?” The two first question are for another day, what I really want to focus on is the latter of this heinous trifecta—the eReader.  I will not beat around the bush, I personally find the eReader appalling, maybe even borderline terrifying. Bookstores are disappearing from our landscape. Earlier this year we watched Borders file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy and close 226 stores nationwide. This means, in most towns, there are now no bookstores. Nada. A big fat zero. That is distressing.  If you have a book store left in your town, go stand in and mull around. Touch a few books and wander the isles. Feel a true bound spine under your fingertips. Turn a crisp, white page of print. Take in the fragrance of coffee wafting over the dictionaries, poetry collections, and memoirs. Cherish this moment because soon it will all disappear. You can gaze around and say, “Pretty soon this will all be a Kindle.” 

How does that make you feel? If you are real blood-pumping, flesh-bearing being with a soul you might be crying a little.  If not, you are clearly beyond the point of no return and have become some sort of cyborg that can’t wait for the V-chip to be implanted in your wrist to make life easier, because apparently anything not involving a button is just too complex. Bookstores and libraries are slowly fading away into Yesteryear, something we will tell our children about—these rare artifacts once called books. 

The Oxford English Dictionary defines an artifact (artefact) as “anything made by human art and workmanship; an artificial product.” This sense of the word can be seen from the word itself: it is derived from the Latin words arte, ablative of ars (art), and factum, the past participle of facere (to make).  The book is defiantly on the decline a source of recreation and information and fading into the realm of artifact. To generalize, we as a culture have shied away from concepts like “workmanship” because patience is, moreover, hardly required for day-to-day living. Everything is instant, convenient, and obtainable. Why drive to a bookstore, record shop, theater, playhouse, park, etc. when I can hit a button and have instant amusement and luxury in front of my eyes? If I don’t have the cash at hand I can just charge it with invisible currency and worry about payments later. Gone are the days of saving, waiting, and feeling the happiness of reward for striving towards a desire. There stands a great degree of artisan-like quality, patience, and workmanship inherent in a book. The line of antiquity from bookmaking hails from materials like, clay, stone, tree bark, papyrus, wood, parchment, scrolls, and so forth. Materials that first had to be harvested from the earth by human hands and molded into a workable, pliable substance before being inscribed with familial stories, prophecies, biblical verses, myths and epic journeys. Think of the humongous history of printmakers and revolution—the toppling of monarchies, the challenging of ideologies, grassroots underground mischief that changed many a country—because don’t forget knowledge is power. Books are dangerous, they make people think, they make people question, and, more importantly, they make people question their current situations and conditions. Why were minorities and women kept from reading for centuries? Well, because it is easier to keep the ignorant subjugated. If you don’t know, then you are easier to control. And how easy would it be to gain control if eReaders were the only source of literature that could essentially be taken away at any given moment?

So, soon we all have an eReader of some kind except for the few eccentric weirdoes that hole up in their home libraries huffing ink, reciting Dante, hording the that last few pages of papyrus like it’s the only pack of cigarettes on the cell block when some conspirator blasts the bookweb with government toppling design. Suddenly, that “book” disappears or your reader can’t download it or your reader won’t work for week. When you log on next week your whole Nook has been revamped with a whole new suggestion list, all your previous downloads gone, and pretty soon you are “told” what to read by the limited (*cough*approved) selection of electronic literature before you. The weirdoes in their home libraries become the new revolutionary leaders and we turn to them to initiate change, fight for freedom, and give us back the task of printmaking and book distribution as means of warfare. People gather and build up the community that we lost with the overwhelming amount of technological devices that kept us apart.  The fear of people gathering has always been that mobs and riots start, and the scary part to those is power is that the bumpkins are gathering because they finally figured it out. I mean, it could very well happen. He who controls knowledge has the power. Fahrenheit 451, anybody? Are we our own culprits because we as a culture support the eReader? Are we setting ourselves up for our own downfall? You know, just keep that mind. 

This of course is my hyperbolized rant, somewhat meant in jest and somewhat acutely nesting in the back of my mind.

But seriously, to tone it down a notch there are a great many things lost in the decline of the book. You lose a sense of community. Book sharing, that passing down of one great read to another, private inscriptions, jotted down insights you find picking up a used book in which you somehow commune with voices of the past are dying—and sadly, something that future may not know. I used to spend hours in a bookstore to pick out the gift of a book. I would pour over pages, titles, covers, blurbs in order to find something personal and suited just for the tastes of the giftee in question. Now, you just throw a Kindle gift card in their face and shoot them a “Happy Birthday” via Facebook.  I mean, I can hardly say anymore, “Oh that story sounds amazing, you will have to let me barrow that when you’re done,” because who is going to let you barrow their whole freakin’ Kindle. 

You lose an architecture. I have four (and growing) large bookshelves that make up the architecture of my home—and, in sense, make up the architecture of my life. Each book represents a person, a moment, a transition, a memory for good or bad. I read Almost Transparent Blue (Ryu Murakami) on the plane to Paris, On the Road (Jack Kerouac) still has sand in it from the beach, I was reading the poetry of Maxine Kumin when I received the most  disquieting news that changed my life up to this point. If you value your books, they more than likely hold a sturdy place in your house. My books make up my home, literally and metaphorically speaking. If I were to lose my books I would lose my hearth, the foundation of so many memories.
If I drop my copy of Pride and Prejudice in the tub as I chillax to some candlelight and Sade I don’t lose my whole library. Enough said.

I don’t ever have to worry about the battery life running out in the middle of my hard copy of Dharma Bums nor will my entire library ever get a virus. 

Lastly, but not finally, as a writer myself, and perhaps more pertinent to poets, you lose control of the page.  Poets will spend hours, often a lifetime, arranging their words and meticulously crafting the way the poem looks on the page just as meticulously as the choice of the words themselves. The construction of a line break may be as thought out and planned as an aerial invasion. Few people have influence over the change of a line break—other revered poets, mentors, and editors—and from time to time those people are told to go to hell, the line break stays. Our current poet laureate, Billy Collins, put it quite exactly like this:

"... that's what we do, we make lines. Charles Olson, the poet, said no line must sleep, every line in a poem should be wakeful to the lines around it. And when you put a poem on a Kindle, the lines are broken in order to fit on the screen. And so instead of being the poet's decision, it becomes the device's decision."

Very few artistes of any genre are not one to give up artistic control to another human being let alone a device.  In these respects I encourage the continuation of printed books and promote a steady consciousness to what the growing support of electronic texts will have on our culture. There is so much to lose in the face of advancing technologies and we forget a little bit more of our human aspects everyday. The convenience of the eReader is just a little too alluring, a little too seductive for me to jump head first into the world of literary gadgetry. Nothing compares to the solid back of book in my hand. Reading a book requires every crook of our senses: we hear the flurry of pages, we see the compiling of ink to form characters and landscapes, we touch the leather binding of ancient craft, we smell the musk of used bookstore’s shelves or the crisp freshness of the unread page, and we taste...well if you are tasting your books you must be out of Zig-Zags and, in that case, I hope you are using the endpaper. No doubt, reading an actual book is a sensuous experience, one that virtual texts cannot provide. So, I guess at the end of day you really have to ask yourself is how synthetic do you want your world to be? If you favor the eReader, I suppose I will see your sniveling face again during the revolution as you come bawling back for me to save you. And if you hold an old tried and true text in your hand I will see you at the next meeting, same place, same time, same dank basement.

A little about the author, Trista is a literary bad-ass. I mean she is already a pretty accomplished writer in her own right and I am super stoked that she was down to contribute a couple hundred words of her choice on KenNitro.com.  I could go on about how great of a writer she is, but if you read all the way down to here, you already know that.

Monday, December 19, 2011

KenNitro's Giving The Game Away: The Game of No's


Ok, last time, we spoke about “lanes” and how staying in them will yield you the best results for WINNING with women, but there is something that is just as important as knowing who are the women that you have the best chance of winning, but it is understanding a word that we hear all the time. I am talking about “NO”, but most people understand the word no, but not the types of no’s, and this understanding is crucial in winning over the females that are in your current lane and the expansion of your own highway.

There are Things Worse Than No
See, there are hard no’s and soft no’s, they are still no’s, but you know, no’s are kind of strange because they can flip flop and turn to YESES (within three days or thirty minutes) or they can go from soft to hard and vice versa, women themselves will admit to their flakiness but before we get into that lets talk about these types of no’s.

First no’s are something that all men are accustomed too. Any guy that has never been told no is not just lying, but telling a BOLD FACED LIE, why do you think there is even such a thing called a hard and soft no? Taking the word no is a lot like eating vegetables, sometimes you have to eat them, sometimes you don’t, but knowing when to do both is the difference between sitting at the table looking at the moved around peas and getting dessert.

Don’t worry women created the whole concept of hard and soft no’s, and they can either agree with me or accept my decision.

Let’s talk about the No’s

The hard No is something that all men are accustomed too because this type of no has everything to do with you, the good thing is that these no’s are generally based on a lack of information and it sets you up for the championship because the game is all yours to win, but how do you win when you seem to have already lost? 

  When you start at the bottom there is nowhere else to go but up, and that knowledge alone is enough to work with.

Ok, once you have the hard no from the target female, disengage. No matter the situation or your environment, you need to put her at the bottom of your interaction list and let her see you interact with everyone else; you can call it a “Strut” if you will. Now, this does not mean ignore her completely, it just means that you are going to be distributing your attention to everyone that is on the field in equal amounts when you work the room, it lets everyone know that you are concerned with having a good time and making sure that no one in particular can accuse you of being all butt hurt cause you got shutdown.

*PAY REAL CLOSE ATTENTION*

The “Strut” is not about making the female that gave you the hard no feel uncomfortable, what you are doing here is showing her that she is the one that is making the miscalculation in judgment and as she watches you maintain your lane and occupy the attention of other females, she is going to take notice.  So continue to have fun, but don’t be all hell bent on offending some chick because you are all butt-hurt about her shooting you down.

*PAY NORMAL RANGE ATTENTION

Captain Save-A-Ho Showing You How It Is Done!
Now how long do you keep them at the bottom of your interaction list? Well you tell me? Women are quirky as hell and they may be the type to feel some sort of way about the fact that you aren’t chasing after them with engines on maximum warp cause they told you “No” in the first place. Women like to be chased, hell people like to be chased, what is important is that you do it on your own terms. The good news is that while you were strutting it out you have got you one or two that you might not have had an opportunity to conquer had that first one said “NO” up and said “YES”.

EVERYBODY WINS.

Soft “No’s” tend to require a little more finesse; a soft no can turn into a hard no really fast if you don’t understand the complexities of this type of “no”. A soft no has very little to do with you and more about the situation surrounding you. It might be something as simple as this fall semester is acting without mercy and she just can’t juggle you and 18 hours at the same time. So in this type of situation you have to be patient and take a back seat and wait out the semester while still staying relevant on her radar. If she got to study, bring a book and read with her or hey why don’t you study with her? 

One of the more popular soft no’s is manifested in a battle for time. Hey, the rent is due on the first and you have to eat everyday of the week, so when the 9-5 conflicts with the 3-11 then you have a recipe for disaster or not…depending on the chef.  At this point free time is at a premium, and if you are trying to win with someone with a seriously conflicting schedule you have to not assume and understand that whatever free time that they do have, that is shared with you, should be treated like a canteen with water in the middle of the desert, appreciate it.   

This is Why it All Worth it.
So even though you are 99% sure that she is going to say no because of , call and ask anyway. Besides, folks always would rather be given the option of saying no instead of you assuming that they are going to say no.  So the strategy here is having a alternate plan if time is not on your side. The suggestion is to give this person the first option, look at it like this, if she say’s yes, then you get some premium time with girl you are trying to win with in the first place, if she says no, then well, you have a chance to get out there and “strut” and at the same time assure the one you want, you still think enough about her to continue to ask her out even though the universe won’t get you some playing time on the field.  Patience is the key here, cause you really can’t do anything more than wait for a window of opportunity and jump through that mofo at the first chance you get. 

No Caption Needed
Another more what’s the word…normative situation is that the female in question is already deep in a relationship that is either in the process of crashing and burning or sitting up on the rocks like a boss, and while she is not going to cheat on her man, you already know through the flirting, innuendo’s, girlfriend like behavior that she exhibits around you even though she got a man, all you have to do is wait. To be honest, this is your game to lose and you are already set up to lose, because at any point they could reconcile stronger than ever…and it could be your fault.

How could that be?

Ok, let’s be honest, we can all agree that women are crazy. Seriously, how many times in our lives have we met women that say, “…That’s why I don’t fuck with females...” or “…Chicks lose they damn mind over a dude, so I can be around all that drama” and so forth and so on.  So when you are the guy waiting on the other guy to fail, there are a couple of buckets of guilt that you are going to have to carry up river. 

Let’s put it in perspective: Thoughts, words, and deeds are all interconnected. The internal conflict is a moral one at the very least, but it really doesn’t matter, cause well she has already cheated. See she is already in conflict about how she is feeling as it relates to the boyfriend and you, the guy waiting in the wings, everything you say should be calculated to maximize the return on your efforts.  What normally happens is that the guy in question is probably a sounding board for the girl to vent her frustrations about the boyfriend. 

Now this guy(you)if you are actually paying attention should be doing nothing accept listening and agreeing to some extent about the situation.  Women by nature like to argue, but you aren’t trying to win arguments, what you are attempting to do is create a safe place for discussion about how she is feeling without tipping your hand that you are secretly trying to sabotage any attempts at she and her man smoothing things out.

Guess what, she knows it.

Press too hard and he will know it too. There is not a man alive that does not raise his eyebrow about the intentions of new men that enter into the lives of he and his girl that were not previously a part of it. You sir are no different and while the boyfriend may not know who you are, he is aware of your presence.  Aside from that, show me a female that wants to be told that their relationship is a crap sandwich, and even if you are telling her exactly what her home girls are telling her is not going to help. Why would she listen to you, look women rarely listen to the good advice their close female friends tell them, and they go to the bathroom with one another, keep all this in mind before you open your mouth.

A woman that is already on the fence about their relationship status is not going to fall completely for the “I’m-going –to-be-the-exact-opposite-of-the-dude-she-with” program.  To be honest, the female in question probably trust you to be “honest” about what you think about the issues that she should be discussing with her boyfriend. If you want to win, remain neutral on all subjects unless you truly can support it 100%, consider everything about the boyfriend that she brings up in the negative as a preliminary test for you and it is pass or fail.

If you press too soft, she is not going to feel too sure about dumping the other guy to turn this soft no into a yes.  Keep in mind, she has just been on the fence, and you are trying to push her into the direction that is going to benefit you. A lack of action will only allow the boyfriend time to regain lost ground through sincere apologies, a change of attitude, and shoulder rubs.  After everything at home is in order, I can assure you that she is going to tell her man about you, in an (or not) effort to have transparency in their relationship, she is going to paint a picture of this new friend, and she will introduce you cause she is looking to move you to FRIEND ST, but there is no way that the guy that almost just lost his girl is going to concede to a new male friend. So she is going to be given a choice to make, and she is going to choose him. All you can really do is shrug your shoulders.

Strength Based
Oh yeah, there is one more type of “No” this was made mention by one of my comrades in arms at the facility, KD or “Mr. KD” as he is referred too made such a compelling case that there was no way that I could post this blog without it’s addition.

It’s called the “FUCK NO”

Fuck no’s are just that, and there is no coming back from it. A Fuck No is a lot like a pit of quicksand, the more you struggle with it the more likely you will suck into the bottom. If you struggle with a “Fuck no” you are looking to seriously be embarrassed socially by females, and probably physically assaulted by Superior males that are in close proximity, so I really can’t condone any other behavior except leaving the venue where the “Fuck No” got put on display and try something new next week.

I got one more in me for this topic of discussion next week and then we are going to be rolling into the new year with an all new look for 2012 and a plan for expansion.

Friday, December 2, 2011

KenNitro's giving the game away part one: Stay In Your Lane

For all guys that have been struggling over the last 11 months to get it in with whomever you are trying to get it in with, you are in luck!  See, the next 30 days presents an awkward moment in the female/male social dynamic. It’s Chirstmas time, and no one wants to be alone, so everyone will be looking for those possibilities to end the year on a good note.

So, guys if you got it like that, it’s going to be like shooting fish in a barrel. There are a number of women out there whom are looking to have somebody on their arm or be on someone’s arm for a number of different occasions over the next 30 to 35 days, so you can finish out the year strong and move into 2012 like a straight up BOSS.

If you don’t have it like that, that’s cool too. This time of year can give you that environmental boost that you may need.  You know like when the crocodile is waiting near the edge of the water and snatches up an unsuspecting wildebeest like it was nothing, this was not luck, what this creature did was utilize the local landscape to catch his prey off guard.

That’s what you have to do with women, catch them off guard. Cause for the most part, they already have you pegged and the answer is already No.  So I am going to give the game away in small bits so can easily digest it. I’m not going to hit you with 10 step,  there are plenty of those out there.
Let me start off by saying this,

Seriously
FUCK SWAG

When I think of swag, I think of people posturing trying to give off the impression that they are something they are not. Whether your posturing is happening through clothes, fake confidence, or whatever it may get you off the launch pad, but it is not going to get you to the moon.

Seriously, most women have too much game for the swag to be a deal closer, and spending too much time on this aspect is an exercise in futility.

What we are going to focus on this week, is determining your lane and staying in it.  What is your lane? I am glad you asked! Your “Lane” as we call it, is your area of expertise plus location that is the most comfortable for you to be successful at capturing women, the key word is capture because you can meet women anywhere, but you don’t want to meet them, you want to WIN!!!.  The winning part comes into play when what you know is in tune with what they want to hear.  This is where those listening skills come into play.  If they happen to be into something that you have no idea what it is about, then find some sort of shared experience, anything that can keep the conversation moving, because at some point the conversation is going to come back to, “What do you think about that?”


Don’t stand there looking like BoBo the fool when you knew ahead of time, that she was intoand instead of reading about it , watching a documentary, or even wiki’in that MOFO, you decided to wing it…

any one that had that sword, did what
ever they wanted too, in STYLE
The next option is to bring them into your world. If you are passionate about something, that they could find interesting, then there is your Green Destiny right there. If you are not passionate about anything and you are over the age of 23 my advice is to stop reading this blog right now.

It won’t help you.

People like learning new things or more importantly, people like learning new ways to think about things that they think they already know, so if you got the inside scoop on something, present it in an engaging manner that does not come off as condescending or to technical. Too much of any of those things will equal a lose.  

Next week we are going to talk about whatever I f'n want too!