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Thursday, November 24, 2011

November is for food: History is Hungry


So every year Americans all over the world get together for a big ol meal called thanksgiving, every kid in this great country learned that thanksgiving went down a little something like this:
See, these religious people left England in hopes of finding a place that they could get down with the worshiping the way they want to, and not have to worry about being hated on by the legion of haters in the “Old World”. 

So they came to the “New World”

Now, when you think about it, the world was new, but it was new like a used car, you know new to you, but not to anyone else…you know cause someone else already owned it or in the case of the Native Americans already lived there.

Anyway.

So, the settlers show up all happy and what not, but they don’t know jack squat about anything in terms of hunting, fishing, farming, or surviving in this “New” world that really should be called the “Previously Lived in World”, and the cool as hell Native Americans were all like

“Ay! Check it, we bout to hook yall up”

See, the Native Americans didn’t hate the players or the game, and so what they did was hook them up with all the buffalo, corn, fish, etc they could eat, and that is how thanksgiving happened and the Native Americans were our friends.

We all learned that, but that’s not quite how it happened though.

See, this holiday just like everything else has gone corporate. November is all about food, shopping, and not burning your house down trying to fry a turkey in the garage.  If the numbers of people that are camping out in front of best buy, Target, and Wal-Mart just to fight with each other over a flat screen TV were to donate the same amount of time to a soup kitchen, homeless shelter, or after school center, the possibilities are endless as to the amount of the Lords work that could be done.

The Pilgrims thought they were doing the Lords work too, see instead of viewing the Natives as a real people they viewed them as a tool of the lord put on the land to guide them just long enough to get screwed in the RAWEST deal on planet earth. Squanto, the Native American that is credited with teaching the invaders of to live off the land, was actually kidnapped as a child and bought and traded as a slave and somehow he managed to get back the “New” world or “Home” as he would call it, just to find out that his people have been slaughtered by the very same people that he helped.

Ain’t that bout a bitch!

At least there is turkey right?  Right now kids in school are putting on thanksgiving plays that are probably reinforcing so many negative stereotypes that the inside joke that they are letting the black kid be the lead pilgrim, who will no doubt get to be Martin Luther King jr in February, gets over looked all the way over. 
Lets keep rowing this boat, Thanksgiving in the U.S. coincides with Columbus day. The day Christopher Columbus brought the first invading force to the “New” world. See, but that is political anyway, see Honest Abe came about and made Thanksgiving an official holiday (you know the one where we get holiday pay but not for MLK day…I’m just saying)and on that same day, he sent troops in to march against the Sioux Nation in Minnesota .

 Anyway, back in the day, anytime there was a huge slaughter of Indians a day of thanks giving was called to celebrate the destruction of the “savages” because that is what the religious zealots at the time believed. It got to the point to wear George Washington was like, “Damn we can’t be doing all this partying after we get it in on these Indians, we got a nation to build!!!!!” So he decided that they would have one big party to celebrate all the genocide.

So Native Americans get a two for one in November!

This is the short version.

Around Halloween, I saw someone’s facebook on the facebook that is inside of facebook talk about how she was happy it was raining on Halloween because that day celebrates the devil and anyone that new anything knew that.  So hopefully, everyone will take some time and learn a bit about what they are celebrating. If you really want to show how thankful you are this season doing something about it.

Volunteer at a shelter, give some can food items that you would actually eat and not the ones that have been sitting there for years to a can food drive, or go visit a nursing home and just sit with the people.  That way you would actually be celebrating thanksgiving the way it should be.

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