Lost Art of The Wingman Part 1: Do You Even Know What a Wingman is, Bro?

Whatever you do, DO SOMETHING!

Navigating the dating scene is like having a compass in the dark with no flashlight. There are so many different ways you can go about WINNING, one can be confused about which right way is the best way. One thing remains true, from human’s humble beginnings in caves to massive multiplayer online games

Teamwork makes the dream work.

There was a time when two bro’s could hit the scene and get all the cream there was to get, and high five the entire time. There was a time where men would run defense so their bro could make a play. The wingman was more than just situational, it was an honor. That’s shit over, charge it to the game. One of the greatest acts of wingmaning ever caught on film was this scene right here.

See, this right here is what it is all about. I'll be damned if Five doesn't get you Ten with teamwork like that.

So how did we lose the art of the wingman?

I’ll tell you when, we lost the art when men decided to use the phrase “bro’s before hoe’s” as just a phrase and not a part of the code of ethics governing male bonding rituals and appropriate man to man relationships. For instance,

There is real magic in this phrase.

if you invoke bro’s before hoe’s just because you as a man are jealous of your homey’s situation with his lady, you’re doing it wrong bro. If you are invoking bro’s before hoe’s because you are gravy in your situation and you just don’t like the chick your homey is kicking it with, you’re doing it wrong bro. If you being offensive to chicks your homey brings around, and then he stops bringing them around, and you invoke bro’s before hoe’s

You guessed it, you’re doing it wrong.

self explaintory

See, the above mentioned is hating.  Hating has become such an epidemic in our society that we have begun to think that we need haters in our lives to validate the fact that we are livin!

What kind of shit is that?

But I digress, a brotha dealing with some other shit these days.

Anyway

When did it become cool for a man to break in on someone else’s program over a chick in the first place? When was it ok for a man to offer up info on another man that is going to adversely affect his pimpin? I don’t know, I can’t even call it.

Hell man, with that kind of heat in your circle I can see how individuals start backing away from the code and doing work on their own all together.  Then of course, women in the media are always trying to play up the whole, “confidence” factor. Coming up with new ways of approaching women that all go in this direction

See a chick you like, roll up on them, hit’em with some sort of line. The line varies depending on a number of variables. Then if that works you invite them on some sort of no pressure excursion and hopefully, it works out for you.( ß 60 % of the time it works 100%)

See, the thing is women are already up on game.

It Can Be Done, But It Ain't No Fun...

Women rarely roll solo, and if they do, there is some wishy ass dude waiting on stand-by ready to get fish hooked to stop your advance. Gone are the days of being able to show up in the spot and pull chicks that you don’t know out of their situations and into yours without some help from your wingman.  Your wingman was your bro. Your Billy to his Jimmy lee, Han Solo and Chewbacca, Beautiful Bobby Eaton and Sweet Stan Lane, your success was his success and the reverse is also correct.

One Of the Best EVA!!!

Wingman skill sets  can come in different varieties, but the fact is that somewhere on this trip men collectively decided that it would be better to get a laugh out of seeing our bro’s fail instead of making the dream work. That’s just a damn shame, and we all know someone that is that guy.

So let’s get started, but let’s work in reverse for a second and go over what wingman-ing isn’t. It is just as important to know “What it ain’t” as well as “what it is” ya dig?

First, it ain’t the wingman’s job to bring you the pussy, and put it on your plate. Many a dudes have come up asking me to hook them up with some chicks, just like that.

“Hey Ken, can you hook me up with some chicks?”

Get the fuck outta here with that shit! Dudes these days are under the impression that chicks are just DTF off the rip(down to fuck for the uninformed).  News flash, just cause your mans ‘andem got it like that with a crew of females does not mean that they are down to fuck at a drop of a dime or  more importantly, that they are down to fuck YOU at a drop of a dime. Take yo thirsty ass elsewhere with that.

And even if they were and did, they not inviting you to the party for the simple fact that you’re asking to come.

Second, a wingman is not your bomb dismantling device. This can be a little confusing, see there is a difference between your homeboy backing your play on the double date and you knowingly knowing that the chicks friend is the B.U.F.F.*

This is BROTHERHOOD

See, you wrong for that! With holding info is already not the move, expecting your homeboy to stick around after there has been visual confirmation on the BUFF, you asking for too much. To blame your homeboy cause you didn’t get laid, because he didn’t keep some B.U.F.F occupied, you need to have ya ass beat.

Twice.

Now if you told your wingman that this was the deal and he ends up in a situation with a B.U.F.F that he can’t get out of well…that’s why we have man night, to laugh and talk about such things!

Third, the wingman is not your whipping boy. This pisses me off more than unknowingly being placed in the  bomb dismantler position. See, after the fact, bomb dismantling is fun. Hell if you roll with a crew of folks and if you all don't have a story that y'all laugh about involving "Taking One For The Team", "Diving on Grenades" and so forth and so on, I may have to call shenanigans on the existence of you all as a crew all together. 

See what you have to understand is this,hating on your homeboy in an effort to make yourself look like a BOSS in front of some chick/s, is the utter definition of a DICK MOVE.  Don’t get me wrong, the story about how your homeboy bent a fat chick over and went to town during karaoke or even the same homeboy letting fat chicks rub all over his chest at karaoke while singing “I want you to want me", being told is ok. Why is that shit is ok? Cause it is funny before it is offensive, and as long as he is laughing you haven’t crossed any lines. 

What is not and by not I mean never ok is making your homeboy look bad or set him up for the okey doke so you can appear to be clever. 

  For instance, there was this one night where me and some people were out and about. This dude was trying so hard to get these chicks to notice him, he actually resorted to asking me questions just to cut me off and throw it back to the chick that wasn't interested in him in the first place to answer, acting as though he valued her opinion so much as to cut off your's truly!!!!!

 As if she would be impressed at a man’s ability to be a DICK.

FUCKOUTTAHEREWITDAT SON!!!!

Can't Win If You Don't Play

Now I’m sure I can go even further and establish some other behaviors, but you get the point. Fact is even if you have a wingman, you still got to get into the fight, you still have to acquire your target, and you have to take a shot.

Otherwise your wingman is going to hit you with a reversal.

While we can talk about what being a wingman’s job isn’t all day long. Sometimes your wingman is doing too much. Doing too much is a lot like not doing anything at all, because it will all achieve the same outcome.

FAILURE

A wingman that is doing too much is not THE MOVE at all.

It's Only Cool For a Second

When a wingman is doing too much, it looks more like competition than co-operation. They start to think of how they can get ahead instead of how we can all win. Now, I am not going to sit here and say that I have never competed against another man or men for a woman, I am not even saying that I will not in the future. What I am saying is that if you and a man that you would call brother are competing over the same chick, you all both run the serious risk of losing everything, all at once. On top of all that, the both of you end up giving this chick the big head. See, every woman was to be competed over, but no woman wants to be some  prize to be won. So you start competing in public with your bro, you both will lose, and she will be queen of sheba...at least for the night.

This is just going to get your feet wet, part two we are going to look at what makes a good wingman, and some factors to consider, and we will touch base on the "fabled female wingman" or would it be a "wingperson". Hell to be honest, when did men need other women to pick up women in the first place? 

Oh, so if you are into the other elements of social media add me on instagram @KenNitro.

*B.U.F.F. is a term I picked up from a female friend of mind that means “Butt Ugly Fat Friend”. Don’t get mad at me, women are always supporting each other when I am talking shit, so if a chick tells me some shit that is degrading to women on any level, I am taking it and running with it.