When the bad guys laugh

https://youtu.be/iNkrF43SZEU

Giving The Game Away: PRODUCT CODE KENNITRO2014

So It's the new year.

I am sure you all have made these grandiose plans of making major changes in life. I am also sure you mean them, and you all have the potential of seeing all your goals come to fruition.

HA!

We are almost at valentines day and most of you have either given up or have made some small progress. By small, I mean just enough to justify quiting so don't get mad by the tough talk, KenNitro is gonna make it all better.

Remember, you all have the potential to be the best in the world.

The Start of The Rest of Your Life

You also have the potential of not doing shit, and still being exactly where you were a year ago, talking about how shit is strange now. Er'y body want me to fill out an application on line, folks wants resume's, and no one wants to meet anybody in person.

Wake up!

It ain't 2004 anymore. 

I'm laughing cause back then, 10 years ago, you could shoot the deuces at one job and have another one before you missed a paycheck.

That is sooooo not the case in 2014

Now a days, if you want to even see a job you have to get past the robots with your resume.

Oh You Want a Job?

What that means is that everything you though you knew about writing a resume is obsolete.

Oh, you mad? You wanna tell me that ain't true, and that the fact that you know someone that know someone can put you on at some jump off and shit would just be good...

Bitch please you living in a world where folks keep change on them to use a pay phone. Maybe lookin at a map cause you lost and shit. Matter fact, i'm just gonna go drive around with you with the 6 disc cd changer in the trunk wit'cha FACE ASS!!!

If You Know What This is, This Blog is For You

Trust me, all those resume templates you downloaded on microsoft word, and those tips and techniques to get your resume read by an actual person won't work.

Hell, my shit back in the day was to have my name in BIG BLACK 22pt font at the top of my resume, so when whoever was going through the stack, they would see my shit poking out and be like, "Wow, this KenNitro guy must be really confident, let me put his resume with other potential winners!"

That shit is done, like going to rent a movie from blockbuster.

No one can help you get your resume together, at least not give you the help you need, I mean...my patna n dem can, but we are getting to that.

The help that you would get from people proofreading, formatting, helping you cull the bullshit from your resumeso you could get to the interview is all for naught in the digital age. Back then, 10 years ago, in 2004, a person would be so bold as to say 

"If they have a mis spelled word on their resume, I just go an throw it away"

You do realize that now a days, there is a computer program you have to get past before your resume has an 

Silly Human No Job

opportunity to be thrown away by an actual human. You got to bring your best out early just to beat the robots that get your resume once you hit that submit button. 

Fact is that it is real out here in these streets.

If you don't have a job, any job will due until you get the job you want, but you literally can't afford to not be working while you are looking for the job you really want. But you can't get the job you want because your resume sucks, so you end up at the job you don't want because you can't get any traction anywhere else.

It's a vicious cycle.

We Are All Familiar With This

Don't be scared homie, KenNitro is here to help you.

However, this help ain't free. If it was free, you wouldn't appreciate it. If it was free, you would just dismiss it as some ol' regular bullshit, and you would keep doing what you are doing, which is not working.

A matter of fact, I am morally opposed to even giving this away at a discount.

 I feel like everyone should be paying double the sticker price, because you might take it seriously if you had to put down some real coin.

After all, if you want to change up your job, career, or at least be armed with the knowledge of how to make those changes if you wanted too, click this link

https://www.udemy.com/hackyourresume/?couponCode=kennitro2014

And pay the man.

For the cost of two jack and cokes, you will have some instruction on getting your resume to a point to where you can compete with the thousands upon thousands of people grinding.

For the cost of four gallons of gas, you can put yourself in a position to where you can start putting premium in your whip.

 This is really a no brainer.

Worse Marvel Movie Ever

If you went to the movies to go see thor(both of them) and were like, "'I'm not expecting much" then you have no reason to not buy this. https://www.udemy.com/hackyourresume/?couponCode=kennitro2014

The big home Ibrahim is telling you what you need to hear, and how to go about doing it. Your success with his technique is his

 success as a teacher/business owner, and I am giving it away at a discount.

You should be paying double.

So stand up and step forward if you are trying to get this money. 

God knows I am.

Also, just check out my mans blog anyway, his shit is serious about making that paper chase happen. 

http://www.ialamin.com/

(C)Rap Music needs a Reboot.

Soooo this whole year I have been trying to bring back regular rap music. Matter of fact, most rap now a days is crap so you could almost call it crap music.  This past year, I have bee running a "Real Hip Hop" Friday on my actual facebook page. I had a good time doing it. 52 weeks, 52 different videos, and it sometimes a few people didn't know that they liked rap music that didn't have drake "The human cupcake" crooning on a beat about how sad he is and the next chick is going to be badder than the last.

I thought it was bad when rap was just about the money, hoes, and clothes.

Music wise, I have been listening to a lot of battle rap on youtube. To be honest, battle rap is slick cool as hell.

Two Guys, basically orating in front of a huge crowed claiming that the other is gay, afraid, broke, unable to satisfy women, on drugs, false claiming gang affiliation, as well as questionable criminal activities. Here are a couple of video's of worth watching. 

Anyway

So rap music these days is missing a serious lack of story telling. Sure, a producer can make a beat. Some new artist can get an established artist on a track and vice versa. Then somebody can pay somebody else to come up with the hook and 

BLAM!!!

That is how a hit is made.

What's missing is the ability to tell a story.

So in no particular order, I am going to share with you all songs and maybe even a few albums that do just that, "Tell a story", consider it my REAL HIP HOP FRIDAY HOLIDAY BLITZ

ALERT!!!ALERT!!!

Taco Day

My favorite track by this female MC. To be honest, this track is more epic and has a better delivery than Eminem's Stan. 

Dance with the devil

One of the first tracks I heard from this artist. I wanna say this song was on the soundtrack from one of the final destination movies. 

Nature of the Threat

Rass Kass killed it on this track. One can sit and argue the historical accuracy all you want, that just means you listened to the song.

Uncommon Valor

R.A. The Rugged Man's verse on this track by itself is one of the top verses from the 2000's

I just can't seem to get into this new rap past anyone not named Hospin So if you know anything that is hot from any where hit a brother up!

KenNitro Vs. The Monster M7 tablet: An Internet First

Best Uncle Award...maybe

Ok, so I bought a tablet for my niece. I mean...she's five, but you know like any good uncle I plan on getting her anything her mom won't. 

So after looking at the box for like a day or so, I started to catch the FOMO

You know, the FOMO..."The Fear Of Missing Out"

So, I broke down and bought a second tablet for ya boy Ken M'fuckin Nitro, cause apparently buying two tablets in one month ain't shit for me.

I don't know how I feel about this...

Anyway, there are not a lot reviews on this product. I mean, there are a bunch of nerd ass bloggers saying the same shit that they got from monster to this thing, but once again(unless you new to my blog)

KenNitro is going to put you up on game.

Suck It Apple

First thing you need to understand is that if you have an android phone the user interface is the same as the Monster M7 tablet. One of the best things about android is the fact that you can make this thing look and do whatever.

The twist is that most people are not creative enough to make a tablet do what it do ya dig?

The sound is good, the screen is amazing, the battery life is the battery life is the usual.

Just like any other android tablet that is on the market.

Let's talk about storage.

You Seen One You Seen Them All

How big is your harddrive is always the question. That is what us rank and file 99%'s are concerned with

whenever we buy anything that is going to help stay connecting to facebook. I mean, my 360 has 120 gigs, my Nexus has 28 gig, my computer has 750gig, this Monster M7 tablet has like...16gigs out the box.

It's all good, I got a old droid phone with a micro SD that Imma just throw up in that dude!

I am surrounded by technology.

I don't know how I feel about this.

So after I get this thing to something respectable I do what you do when you get a new phone. 

You download a bunch of apps that you will only use once or twice.

This is when shit got real.

Good Thing Gas is Only .88 cent a
Gallon

At some part this little box popped up and told me I was running out of  internal space. My first response was 

"FUCKOUTTAHERESON"

Fuck you mean outta space? NASA was sending folks to outta space with like a solar powered calculator an abacus and some crossed fingas hoping that they can land that bitch back in florida.

I remember having a 40gig 7200 rpm hard drive for my computer named "Tyrone" and you couldn't tell me shit. Then I bought another one, and you really couldn't tell me shit! That was back in like 2002.

Now you trying to tell me some shit?

He Sounded Like He Ain't 'Merican
Dat Ain't Right

So you know I thought maybe I didn't do something. So I took the easy route and called tech support and this non 'merican was trying to tell me that the internal storage was 1 gig, and that the other 12. Some shit was for movies, pictures, and what not. Then he went on to tell me how you have to look at the RAM because that is where all the applications are stored, and tried to tell me that it was kinda like a garage and you can put things, but you can only put certain things in certain places and that every tablet is like this and phones are like this too.

Does Your PC even Lift Bro

Look, I am not a computer genius by any means, but even the dumbest dumbass knows that RAM(Random

access memory)has nothing to do with storage, but how fast you get what you want.

You know, like lets take the same lame ass garage analogy and correct it.

Your Computer is Just Like This
Cept, Its All Pr0n and Mp3's

So you have this garage right, and that is where you keep your shit. Lets say you wanted some shit in the back of your garage, but you had to pull all the stuff out of the garage and into the driveway to get to it. If you had a short driveway, but you had the contents of your garage in the driveway you could get to it faster, if you had a BIG and LONG driveway(no homo)you could put all your shit in the driveway and get to it even faster.

That's basically what RAM is...

Madd Space B

I was like, dude, "My phone has never told me anything like that, and I download apps with reckless

abandonment.

See, look at my phone.

I got access to all that shit, and you are telling me that a tablet is different from my phone? You wanna see what the Monster M7 Tablet looking like? 

Fuck You Mean 0.98

What in the AL'Gore's internet is this Nand Flash, and why can't I get to it the way I want too, like how I get to it on my phone? At this point, I am reconsidering gifting this to my niece unitl I get some real answers. First and formost, why is there only one gig available to download apps and 12 gigs for actual music, picture, storage? Why is the Nand Storage not the same as the internal strorage? Why does my SD card seem to not make much of a difference?

Monster, you looking real suspect right now, and that Nexus is looking real sweet naymsayin, a nicca might have to cozy up on dat thing, you know...

Unless yall get ya shit together...

The Son of Hogzilla or Halal Nawwww: The Heart Attack Special

You wanna do something interesting with food, wrap it in bacon.

I learned that lesson a while back when I made the Bacon Explosion. That was probably top three of the best worst decisions I have ever made, if you want to read about that before you get into this pimpin right here, it's here. The current being my current work situation. Turns out, I think as long as I never finish the current blog about the facility I can pump up the normal goodness.

Anyway.

Best Thing EVA!!!

The bacon explosion was a heart attack. Seriously, I think the only thing that keep me from having a heart attack was simply my athletic ability. I ate this thing between wheat bread and I could feel my heart working harder. I even felt a tingling in my right arm.

'

I slowed down.

Good thing too. See, what I discovered was that it isn't all about wrapping things in bacon, but you can wrap bacon around sausage and be on some next level shit. Just saying, if you ever want to go straight to sleep make the bacon explosion, your welcome.

So while out and about, Me and the Homie Sagui(pronouced Sag-we) decided we wanted to recreate the epicness of our luther burger incident but make it STANKY.

I mentioned this burger I had up in Minnesota with my favorite Laura and she put me on to this burger called the juicy lucy. To the normal person this was an inverted cheese burger where the first bite was just as awesome as the last. How is that even possible? 

If you don't know what a "Luther Burger" is, you gon learn today! See this culinary left hook has a past wrapped in mystery, but when it is presented in front of you, your future involves a couch or a bed, and at least 120 minutes of slumber. Seriously, the sweetness of the doughnuts mixed with the savory of well seasoned burgers is enough to send you over the edge by itself. However we knew we could not do "Juicy Lucy's" and "Luther Burgers" one after another, that would be asking for heart failure.

Ok....If you really don't know just what these two things are, I am going to use the power of youtube to show you

As told by everyone's favorite revolutionary's grand dad

Midwest Swing

Ok, I am just being dramatic, we really just didn't have the time to do both.

So we decided that we were going to make "Juicy Lucy Luther Burgers", but that was not "H.A.M" enough, we had to step it up a notch, so you know what we did?

We wrapped those bitches in bacon.

What happend after that was pure magic.

See I wasn't really up on the culinary trends concerning burgers. See, I like my burgers how I like my women, simple. So when some new technique shows up on the prep, which requires a burger to be made in the oven versus the pan or grill, I give a side eye.

Cause....that's meatloaf basically right? I mean, you took too handfuls of meat and you handled that shit, but one can't be bigger than the other. Then, you fashion a little meat pocket and stuff it with whatever, we were using chunks of cheese, then you use the smaller meat to cover the larger meat...no homo.

What You KNOW Bout BURNT SUGAR

So Sagui decided that doughnuts are not enough, we had to grill them bitches. That alone was a game changer. See I though I was on some new shit when I made the peanut butter bacon sandwich.

No.

Get you some doughnuts, get you a grill pan, and get them grill marks on them shits.

Your're welcome.

So we took, the bacon weave that we made, place the meat monstrosity in the middle of it and then we crossed our fingers that we didn't have a blow out. 

Thing was, it was still missing something. Something to bring it all home, you know...the triple sec of food. The one food item that has a place at every meal.

Eggs.

A poached egg at that!

So the end result was a bacon wrapped juicy lucy in between two grilled doughnuts with a poached egg on top. When I tell you that was the best burger I have eaten, I say that with no ego. If you don't believe me, make it and holla at me. 

So we ate it, and washed it down with chocolate milk.

I slept for about 2 hours and I am almost certain that it took two days for my body to digest it.

Good Times, Good Food, and Great People.

End Scene(don't worry, the bacon didn't survive either)

KenNitro Vs The Facility: Snakes of The Snake Variety

I was driving on the way to work today, and I came to the conclusion that I needed to do something different. It dawned on me that I needed to learn how to do something that I didn't already know how to do.

Pass the buck.

Cause, truth be told, you can pass the buck or get thrown under the bus.

See, that is the subject matter of a soon to be written "Congruency of The Damned" blog(coming soon).

Let me tell you what happened.

So I am coming in the office, doing my end of the night stuff, and I see this thing squirming around on the ground. I was like, "That looks like a snake"

OH SHIT, THAT'S A SNAKE.

This Picture Posted cause Sex Sells

So I ain't even gonna lie, I was half tempted to pick it up and walk it outside, then one of my coworkers say's

"Hey Ken, you know baby snakes are more dangerous than adult snakes cause they will release all their venom at once".

FUCK!

Well there goes my plan.

Then he say's, "Oh, and they can lunge the length of their body"

I started to be like, "Well that's not true", then I realize the punchline to my new favorite joke. 

Wanna hear it?

What's the difference between a person with a contrary attitude and a person with a contrary attitude that is knowledgeable about any given situation? Nothing, they are both douche bags.

Next Level Babysitting Technique

Two of my best ideas are easily the worst idea ever, and you know they say always go with your best idea. 

So I keep calm and dump a hygiene box full of hygine stuff and stack that and cover the snake with it and then place an even heavier bin on top of it. 

Now I can finally think.

I seriously had half a mind to leave all of that in the office and let 3rd or even 1st shift handle it. I mean, it's not like I haven't come to work to have to deal with something that someone else could have taken care of...

Whoa!

Save it for later.

So this little fucker was all kinds of pissed, I mean it was hissing,lunging, doing all kinds of snake shit so I slide the bin and the snake out of my office. After I took a picture of me doing what I just described.

Full Mount on a Snake

Seriously, we live in a world where people document every single aspect of their insignificant lives to share with the world. Tyler Durden said, "You are not a unique snowflower" I am saying that no one cares about the meal you ate at this restaurant that yelp gave "$$$" out of 5. No one cares that you got some drink that is garnished with fruit all pretty like, and you know what ladies

That hand at the hip pose is really, really, getting old.

So, halfway from getting the snake out of "MY" office, I realized that I probably should keep the snake. I mean, I bet if this snake was in my office no one would have stolen my phone charger.

Check those Cocain White
Kicks

Yeah I still feel some sort of way about it. 

Anyway so I finally get the snake almost to the door, and it is actually photo time again. The difference between this one and the last one is that this is my victory pose on this beast. Not to be confused with my conquering pose on the other one. 

I get the snake out of the building, no one gets bit by a pissed off venom filled snake, and I looked good doing it.

After the two weeks I have had, I needed to deal with a regular ol snake in the grass, and not the metaphorical one.

Oh, and I found a video that pretty much sums the entire 25 minute fiasco, I mean...you know I had to do it

Pro Wrestling...it's so Gay Orrrrrr We're Here, We're Queer, First you have to care, then get over it(as it relates to pro wrestling)

So not too long ago, a pro basketball player comes out as being gay, and I think somebody cared. I mean, don't get me wrong, I think it's awesome that he would come out and say to the world, "Hey, I'm into dudes" but you know what I think. 

I think it's just a power move.

Ok, before all you activist start cracking your fingers to type something activey(real word, I just made it up). Think about it. This dude was/is a mediocre basketball player at best. So what do you do when your contract is up and you could be cut and I suppose you got to get back to the real world....

Hell, I would come out the closet too(no homo).

Seriously, who would fire a guy who just came out the closet? Not anybody that wants to have the masses setting up camp in the digital space and form a virtual picket line. So you know what you do, you make the smart move.

Keep them around for a year, and if he can't put points in the paint, trade his ass to the European leagues.

Anyway so tell you the truth, I give two shits about anybody's sexual preference. I could be wrong for that in the short run, but as it relates to pro wrestling...There has been so much "gay" in wrestling since the 40's.

WOOOOOO!

I'm not going to go through the catalog of wrestlers with questionable sexuality, keep in mind by questionable I mean ambiguous. After all, pro wrestling has always been about characters, and a lot of times these characters were maintained more than the real life of the actual person. So in terms of GAY

Oh yeah, pro wrestling is rampant with "Teh Gay"

Take, this guy. Johnie B. Badd was a guy that wore make-up, looked like Little Richard. His finishing move was called, "The Kiss That Don't Miss" and he even had little stickers made of hearts that he would place on downed opponents.

The Genius was another gimmick that while he was not so outwardly flamboyant like Johnnie b. Badd, he was still on the other side of masculine, which in wrestling terms...GAY.

Lady Gaga's Dad

Probably the most notorious gay gimmick had to have been golddust. This guy wore a gold body suit, essentially sexually harassed other wrestlers during the match and his entrance was really, really, really uncomfortable. 

Then you had Chuck and Billy, they took their gimmick to new heights and even had a wedding ceremony. I mean, c'mon this was back in 2002. I mean, watch it. If it was anything, it was progressive. Even the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation got all butt hurt over the situation, by situation they were hoping that Chuck and Billy actually would come out as being gay, but there is two problems. The first being that and actual civic organization honestly thought that their input on an angle would be taken serious, and the second is that Chuck Palumbo and Monty Kipp Sopp(Billy Gunn) were not gay in the first place. Oh you do know wrestling is not...

"Tag Team" Partners For Life

It's still real to me Dammit!!!

Mr. No Days Off

So I say all this to say that Darren Young, "Mr. No Days Off" coming out to TMZ that he is gay is really boring to me. I mean larger outlets didn't want the story, The WWE set up the press conference in the first place, and most importantly

Darren Young, is one step up from a Jobber(you know, the guy that always loses), and the tag team he is in is no where near getting a push for the tag team. In short, the prime time playaz aren't a real factor in the tag team division. So I honestly feel like He came out because he might be getting those walking papers. 

Is that unforgivable?  

Seriously, if he was a even a top mid card guy there would be enough buzz to actually use his sexuality to push him into the top tier, but because he is bottom at best(see what I did right there) he is going to probably win a few house matches and that's about it. I think if he would spend more time working on honing his craft and not telling TMZ, he would have some real job security. No wrestling fan is going to think he is getting black balled by the WWE, because he does not have the actual talent...

You know, like the homie Roderick Strong

Hell, if I were him, I would use it. Pro Wrestling is kind of like southpark in a way, because they can take whatever that is popular in pop culture and turn it into satire real quick. On average it takes a south park episode 2 weeks to be produced, and WWE is live almost 100 days out of the year.

The New Harlem Heat, Said No One
EVER!!!!!

Imagine this, Prime Time Playaz goes through a rough spot, losing a bunch of matches(Hell they already do that), then Titus and Darren are arguing, because Titus feels some sort of way about the fact that he had to find out he was gay through TMZ of all things(putting TMZ over in the process), They split. Darren is on the search for a new tag team partner, and still losing. Titus speaks with a number of superstars and they tell him that it's all good or some shit. Then Darren Young and his no name tag team partner wrestle the shield, the no name guy gets knocked out. Titus comes out the back, hot tags in, and they make the come back, the shield gets disqualified cause Dean Ambrose interferes. The crowd goes wild. Every wrestling fans enjoys a started from the bottom to the top story that does not include John Cena

Realistically, they will never beat the shield head up...see what they did to the ROCK?

It's still real to me dammit