The Lost Art of the Wingman Part Deux: The Mythical Wingwoman

Nowadays people believe anything
they read on the internet.

BOOM!!! We back in here. Ok, if you missed out on the first part you can find it here. Let me start out by saying this:

In all honesty you can substitute the words "Female" and "Wingman" with words like "Easter bunny" and "Santa Claus" and "unicorn"

Cause you know...either way

I would still be talking about something that doesn't exist. 

Yeah I said it.

Seriously, I don't even know why I am going to put 700 and some words to the subject, however, I am going to address then hopefully men around the world will let go of this childish notion that having a woman with you will get you laid by other women faster and more efficiently than a well organized 2 or 3 man team with one single goal in mind. TO WIN!!!! 

What can happen is that other women may find you more attractive when they see you with a female that is also attractive, it's got something to do with women's innate sense of competition and stuff. This goes all the way back to tribal societies and what not. Think about it, back in the day motherfuckers use to go hunting and shit.

They would all work together and take down a water buffalo, lion, wild boar, T-rex, or whatever they could chuck a spear at. The men would show up and share the kill and start embellish stories about how they actually killed whatever that got speared to death with their bare hands.

you speared it, but I chopped it's clavical causing
a heart attack...your spear did some damage too, bro

Women on the other hand gathered berries, nuts, and all kinds of shit and that is what you ate when you didn't have any brontosaurus burgers to eat.

Cave men didn't bring women on the hunt for the same reason that you don't bring women to the bar to pick up chicks.

That shit is confusing?

Seriously, if you show up to any spot with an attractive female on your arm everyone is going to assume you are their with them. Females may give you a second look, but it ain't the "oh, let me go jump his bones cause he got strong 7 with him", it is that judgemental look women have when a chick comes in wearing the wrong kind of .

Fact is, if you are running the Female Wingman you are by yourself out there in the cold. You might have the ability to insert yourself into her group conversation that she will get into with other people, but you still got to put the work in. 

this would have to be real for me to
put a caption under it

The whole idea that this chick is going to walk you into a bar, the two of you have a few drinks and pick another chick and then she walks over and convinces her to go home and do the grown up with you...cause she said so.

No.

Fact is, if you got a chick that is down to go to the bar with you on the regular and she isn't trying to go home with some other dude, but is hanging with you, and your intention is trying to get laid, you might need to adjust your angle cause the answer is right in front of you!!!!

I really don't know how else to put it.

Women will not get you laid.

Women will on the other hand cosign you laying their friends, but even then. 

It's not about you.

The cosign is simply to assure chick 1 that chick 2 isn't going to think she is a slut for going/bringing home you to do the grown-up.

REAL(CLAP)TALK(CLAP)

Ok, so I can't lie. I have been out here field testing my brand and I will say that the female wingman does exist.

Just not the way women or men generally like to believe it.

Female wingmen are not wingmen per se, but a weapon to be deployed at a moments notice that can and will change the direction of battle. Women are tactical nuclear missiles, and the proper deployment of woman as a weapon to "Win" with other women is what separates the men from the boys fellas.

Game CHANGER right here folks

The good news is that women that accept this role, are eager to please because who doesn't feel a sense of accomplishment when they can start of any sentence with, "If it wasn't for me" Also, women are really quick to "bitch Up" with a chick and become BFF's when there is a gender inequality and no competition is happening. That's when the tactical nuke goes off!

You still haven't won, but you do have some more time on the clock cause your double agent BFF has just convinced her to not go home and to hang with her, while she is hanging with you, so you can put her in a position to cosign any behavior.

"Planning this shit all day? I been planning this shit all WEEK"(name the movie, and actor)

Not for nothing, "doesn't matter still had sex" is still the one line that sums up any damable situation that ended in sex, but there is a difference between "Pitty" sex and "Winning" sex

I mean, doesn't matter still had sex...I'm just saying.