Ok, last time, we spoke about “lanes” and how staying in them will yield you the best results for WINNING with women, but there is something that is just as important as knowing who are the women that you have the best chance of winning, but it is understanding a word that we hear all the time. I am talking about “NO”, but most people understand the word no, but not the types of no’s, and this understanding is crucial in winning over the females that are in your current lane and the expansion of your own highway.
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| There are Things Worse Than No |
See, there are hard no’s and soft no’s, they are still no’s, but you know, no’s are kind of strange because they can flip flop and turn to YESES (within three days or thirty minutes) or they can go from soft to hard and vice versa, women themselves will admit to their flakiness but before we get into that lets talk about these types of no’s.
First no’s are something that all men are accustomed too. Any guy that has never been told no is not just lying, but telling a BOLD FACED LIE, why do you think there is even such a thing called a hard and soft no? Taking the word no is a lot like eating vegetables, sometimes you have to eat them, sometimes you don’t, but knowing when to do both is the difference between sitting at the table looking at the moved around peas and getting dessert.
Don’t worry women created the whole concept of hard and soft no’s, and they can either agree with me or accept my decision.
Let’s talk about the No’s
The hard No is something that all men are accustomed too because this type of no has everything to do with you, the good thing is that these no’s are generally based on a lack of information and it sets you up for the championship because the game is all yours to win, but how do you win when you seem to have already lost?
When you start at the bottom there is nowhere else to go but up, and that knowledge alone is enough to work with.
Ok, once you have the hard no from the target female, disengage. No matter the situation or your environment, you need to put her at the bottom of your interaction list and let her see you interact with everyone else; you can call it a “Strut” if you will. Now, this does not mean ignore her completely, it just means that you are going to be distributing your attention to everyone that is on the field in equal amounts when you work the room, it lets everyone know that you are concerned with having a good time and making sure that no one in particular can accuse you of being all butt hurt cause you got shutdown.
*PAY REAL CLOSE ATTENTION*
The “Strut” is not about making the female that gave you the hard no feel uncomfortable, what you are doing here is showing her that she is the one that is making the miscalculation in judgment and as she watches you maintain your lane and occupy the attention of other females, she is going to take notice. So continue to have fun, but don’t be all hell bent on offending some chick because you are all butt-hurt about her shooting you down.
*PAY NORMAL RANGE ATTENTION
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| Captain Save-A-Ho Showing You How It Is Done! |
Now how long do you keep them at the bottom of your interaction list? Well you tell me? Women are quirky as hell and they may be the type to feel some sort of way about the fact that you aren’t chasing after them with engines on maximum warp cause they told you “No” in the first place. Women like to be chased, hell people like to be chased, what is important is that you do it on your own terms. The good news is that while you were strutting it out you have got you one or two that you might not have had an opportunity to conquer had that first one said “NO” up and said “YES”.
EVERYBODY WINS.
Soft “No’s” tend to require a little more finesse; a soft no can turn into a hard no really fast if you don’t understand the complexities of this type of “no”. A soft no has very little to do with you and more about the situation surrounding you. It might be something as simple as this fall semester is acting without mercy and she just can’t juggle you and 18 hours at the same time. So in this type of situation you have to be patient and take a back seat and wait out the semester while still staying relevant on her radar. If she got to study, bring a book and read with her or hey why don’t you study with her?
One of the more popular soft no’s is manifested in a battle for time. Hey, the rent is due on the first and you have to eat everyday of the week, so when the 9-5 conflicts with the 3-11 then you have a recipe for disaster or not…depending on the chef. At this point free time is at a premium, and if you are trying to win with someone with a seriously conflicting schedule you have to not assume and understand that whatever free time that they do have, that is shared with you, should be treated like a canteen with water in the middle of the desert, appreciate it.
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| This is Why it All Worth it. |
So even though you are 99% sure that she is going to say no because of , call and ask anyway. Besides, folks always would rather be given the option of saying no instead of you assuming that they are going to say no. So the strategy here is having a alternate plan if time is not on your side. The suggestion is to give this person the first option, look at it like this, if she say’s yes, then you get some premium time with girl you are trying to win with in the first place, if she says no, then well, you have a chance to get out there and “strut” and at the same time assure the one you want, you still think enough about her to continue to ask her out even though the universe won’t get you some playing time on the field. Patience is the key here, cause you really can’t do anything more than wait for a window of opportunity and jump through that mofo at the first chance you get.
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| No Caption Needed |
Another more what’s the word…normative situation is that the female in question is already deep in a relationship that is either in the process of crashing and burning or sitting up on the rocks like a boss, and while she is not going to cheat on her man, you already know through the flirting, innuendo’s, girlfriend like behavior that she exhibits around you even though she got a man, all you have to do is wait. To be honest, this is your game to lose and you are already set up to lose, because at any point they could reconcile stronger than ever…and it could be your fault.
How could that be?
Ok, let’s be honest, we can all agree that women are crazy. Seriously, how many times in our lives have we met women that say, “…That’s why I don’t fuck with females...” or “…Chicks lose they damn mind over a dude, so I can be around all that drama” and so forth and so on. So when you are the guy waiting on the other guy to fail, there are a couple of buckets of guilt that you are going to have to carry up river.
Let’s put it in perspective: Thoughts, words, and deeds are all interconnected. The internal conflict is a moral one at the very least, but it really doesn’t matter, cause well she has already cheated. See she is already in conflict about how she is feeling as it relates to the boyfriend and you, the guy waiting in the wings, everything you say should be calculated to maximize the return on your efforts. What normally happens is that the guy in question is probably a sounding board for the girl to vent her frustrations about the boyfriend.
Now this guy(you)if you are actually paying attention should be doing nothing accept listening and agreeing to some extent about the situation. Women by nature like to argue, but you aren’t trying to win arguments, what you are attempting to do is create a safe place for discussion about how she is feeling without tipping your hand that you are secretly trying to sabotage any attempts at she and her man smoothing things out.
Guess what, she knows it.
Press too hard and he will know it too. There is not a man alive that does not raise his eyebrow about the intentions of new men that enter into the lives of he and his girl that were not previously a part of it. You sir are no different and while the boyfriend may not know who you are, he is aware of your presence. Aside from that, show me a female that wants to be told that their relationship is a crap sandwich, and even if you are telling her exactly what her home girls are telling her is not going to help. Why would she listen to you, look women rarely listen to the good advice their close female friends tell them, and they go to the bathroom with one another, keep all this in mind before you open your mouth.
A woman that is already on the fence about their relationship status is not going to fall completely for the “I’m-going –to-be-the-exact-opposite-of-the-dude-she-with” program. To be honest, the female in question probably trust you to be “honest” about what you think about the issues that she should be discussing with her boyfriend. If you want to win, remain neutral on all subjects unless you truly can support it 100%, consider everything about the boyfriend that she brings up in the negative as a preliminary test for you and it is pass or fail.
If you press too soft, she is not going to feel too sure about dumping the other guy to turn this soft no into a yes. Keep in mind, she has just been on the fence, and you are trying to push her into the direction that is going to benefit you. A lack of action will only allow the boyfriend time to regain lost ground through sincere apologies, a change of attitude, and shoulder rubs. After everything at home is in order, I can assure you that she is going to tell her man about you, in an (or not) effort to have transparency in their relationship, she is going to paint a picture of this new friend, and she will introduce you cause she is looking to move you to FRIEND ST, but there is no way that the guy that almost just lost his girl is going to concede to a new male friend. So she is going to be given a choice to make, and she is going to choose him. All you can really do is shrug your shoulders.
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| Strength Based |
Oh yeah, there is one more type of “No” this was made mention by one of my comrades in arms at the facility, KD or “Mr. KD” as he is referred too made such a compelling case that there was no way that I could post this blog without it’s addition.
It’s called the “FUCK NO”
Fuck no’s are just that, and there is no coming back from it. A Fuck No is a lot like a pit of quicksand, the more you struggle with it the more likely you will suck into the bottom. If you struggle with a “Fuck no” you are looking to seriously be embarrassed socially by females, and probably physically assaulted by Superior males that are in close proximity, so I really can’t condone any other behavior except leaving the venue where the “Fuck No” got put on display and try something new next week.
I got one more in me for this topic of discussion next week and then we are going to be rolling into the new year with an all new look for 2012 and a plan for expansion.
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