Normally my blogs are about what I have been witness too in social situations involving the kaleidoscope of human emotions and interactions that are lubricated by drugs, booze, and the continuing quest for sex. These things by themselves provide limitless material for me to write about, but my own personal stress has been too much to even laugh at those that truly deserve it.
I have been home for about five months. In that time I have been experiencing which was my greatest fear about being back home.
Not really having anything to come home too.
Seriously, save a few personal goals that have been placed on the back burner due to some personal issues, there is little on the larger scale that keeps my person here in the U.S. For one, it is damn near impossible to get a job.
Now I personally think that because I have a degree as well as a wealth of personal and professional experience, I shouldn’t have to work for peanuts. And by peanuts I mean the rank and file, cannon fodder, grunt work that I went through to get where I am today. The crazy part is that I want to work. I have hunted for jobs everyday for the last several months and to tell you the truth it is very hard to just give up and say, “Come and get my car! Who cares about my credit card and score” Seriously, the way things are going it WON’T even matter.
You know, whenever I get in a financial rut, I tend to buy myself something. At least something that I can look at and say “Well at least I got this out of the deal”. Honestly, I am a big fan of buying gifts for myself, I think it is healthy to treat yourself to some product of your hard work and money.
I haven’t.
I haven’t because I can neither afford it nor justify it.
Wait, I am digressing.
Truth is I have spoken to staffing agency’s friends, friends of friends, every internet job board and so on, and I have come up with NADA! I have even actually spoken with people and the question is
“So when can you start”
My response is always, “Right now”
Is that the right answer? I have been told that the truth is always the best route but hell, I guess it can be downright scary. Want to know something else that is scary? The unemployment rate in Georgia is 9.3 percent in Florida it is 8.6. Alabama a whopping 7.8 and Tennessee is 9.1
Wyoming has the lowest rate(cnnmoney)with 3.2 percent.
Am I going to have to move to Wyoming? Give me a fucking break people!
Long story short, it is bad all over.
People are moving back in with family and everyone is watching the auto industry and insurance companies beg the government for money when the people themselves are starving. I watch politicians with their own agenda’s cut their noses just to spite their faces just to maintain favor in their political party. I see people; the uniformed from all sides of the political spectrum take what little info that is correct on the news and run with it as if it is the gospel itself.
Everyone looks to put the blame on someone. Everyone on Capitol Hill is looking to be in place when President Obama fails or succeeds in his endeavor to save our economy from the state that it is in. Meanwhile, Former president bush sits quietly probably ashamed at how he left things. I have always been told that you should leave things better than how you found them…
So what am I to do? I can’t stay where I am forever and hoping for the best is…well hoping for anything in life at this point is just plum dumb.
Maybe I will just become a cop, get corrupted, make a bunch of money, and move to Costa Rica?
Well…it is a thought.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Frontline Vol 3: It is what it is, but what exactly is it
You know, I think I was on that whole, “it is what it is” bandwagon from jump, but for the most part I don’t think people know exactly what it is, before they knew what it in fact was. I think I have figured it out. Now the trick is making sure everyone around you finds out at the same time.
Last night, I think I saw a glimpse of it all.
At the bar that I frequent, there is a woman, a very beautiful woman. This lady always has a smile and a kind word and a blindingly bright set of bling on the left hand second finger from the pinky. Now, I am sure I have mentioned how fragile the male ego is, and I am almost certain I have seen her explain to people that she is married in a manner that can be more understood by watching a new mother put her child gently inside of a crib.
Of course there are the rumors, but I think it is mostly wishful thinking. I think everyone gets their eyes wide open whenever an above average female talks to you and actually listens, even if she isn’t you wouldn’t know it, but this apart of the charm and they can’t see that reality is a pothole on their road to achievement. It is, in fact a trip. I think that is almost all the time what it is, just a trip. The trip itself is that she has already chosen, and it surely will not be one of us. I get it.
Now, the only thing that is better than her entrance is truly her exit. Lawd, Lawd, you have not seen an exit. The same smile, take cares, hugs, everything that a man wants to hear from a woman that he hopes to see again in hopes that next time will be the time.
But I saw it, I saw what no one else wanted to admit, I saw what happens in asia all the time, and understanding what it is, is the key. I think this lesson that I picked up while traveling is what separates my own personal classification of women and girls and men and boys.
If you read Frontline Vol. 2, you can see and example of what it truly is not. If you haven’t read it take some time too.
Now, on this day different from any other, her husband accompanied his lady to the bar. There was no change in her swagger and her consistency in that sense only adds to her overall desirability. As usual, she surrounds herself with the elite of the establishment, but at the same time still gives a welcome arm to anyone else that may be confident enough to come and start a conversation.
So we have a kind hearted disposition to add to her otherwise awesome attributes, what are these mere mortals to do? Personally I do not know, I can’t take everything in at once, but I can reach back to similar situations that I have either participated in or even observed and I can postulate this much.
Men will always look to establish a pecking order, if they don’t do it themselves the women will do it for them, fact not fiction, seriously did you pay attention to “The Mack” So at this point the game of one ups man ship, is going to be played but this time the judge and the prize are one and the same.
Normally speaking, this game than men play to establish the rank and file involves the retelling of manly feats to include but not limited to, amounts of alcohol consumed, the number of wings ingested in a set time period, people that have been assaulted because they were unaware of what the deal was”, and the ability to lift heavy objects. Generally a good time is had by all and everyone can leave with ego’s intact.
Now when you add a woman such as the one described, it does nothing but raise the level of the game, because some how, some way you have to make your feats seem far superior to those of your contemporaries, and everyone has the chance to be a winner, but there is only going to be one. This idea that there can only be one winner undermines the structure of the game itself and chaos ensues, and by chaos I mean all men involved in the game will sink to the level of having to criticize each other and mitigate everyone’s experienced in order to gain favor.
It is the first past the post in the truest since of the word.
Where is the husband in all this? He was present right? Of course! Well he was at the far end of the table speaking with other men about topics that he wants to talk about, casually trading smiles with his wife as they make eye contact. This went on for the better part of the evening, with people moving about the chairs going and coming, from a distance it looks like people having a good time, because that is exactly what is happening.
As the evening progressed, The Mister decided that he was ready to go, as he wrapped up his conversation with the men present he casually and confidently walk to the other end of the table where his wife was tapped her on the shoulder and said, “ I’m ready” or “lets go” or some other saying that a person would use to articulate that they are ready to leave, and you know what happened?
Sweetie, cut the conversations right there, gathered her personal effects and ever so gently gave a group goodbye where everyone felt like she was talking to them a little more than everyone else on that end of the table.
And like that, the game was over.
Grown men for the WIN! See grown men don’t feel the need to have to compete against others for something that already “theirs”. See, that’s what “ it” is, before the what of course. Knowing this before the situation keeps a person so far ahead of the game that you won’t even want to play.
Last night, I think I saw a glimpse of it all.
At the bar that I frequent, there is a woman, a very beautiful woman. This lady always has a smile and a kind word and a blindingly bright set of bling on the left hand second finger from the pinky. Now, I am sure I have mentioned how fragile the male ego is, and I am almost certain I have seen her explain to people that she is married in a manner that can be more understood by watching a new mother put her child gently inside of a crib.
Of course there are the rumors, but I think it is mostly wishful thinking. I think everyone gets their eyes wide open whenever an above average female talks to you and actually listens, even if she isn’t you wouldn’t know it, but this apart of the charm and they can’t see that reality is a pothole on their road to achievement. It is, in fact a trip. I think that is almost all the time what it is, just a trip. The trip itself is that she has already chosen, and it surely will not be one of us. I get it.
Now, the only thing that is better than her entrance is truly her exit. Lawd, Lawd, you have not seen an exit. The same smile, take cares, hugs, everything that a man wants to hear from a woman that he hopes to see again in hopes that next time will be the time.
But I saw it, I saw what no one else wanted to admit, I saw what happens in asia all the time, and understanding what it is, is the key. I think this lesson that I picked up while traveling is what separates my own personal classification of women and girls and men and boys.
If you read Frontline Vol. 2, you can see and example of what it truly is not. If you haven’t read it take some time too.
Now, on this day different from any other, her husband accompanied his lady to the bar. There was no change in her swagger and her consistency in that sense only adds to her overall desirability. As usual, she surrounds herself with the elite of the establishment, but at the same time still gives a welcome arm to anyone else that may be confident enough to come and start a conversation.
So we have a kind hearted disposition to add to her otherwise awesome attributes, what are these mere mortals to do? Personally I do not know, I can’t take everything in at once, but I can reach back to similar situations that I have either participated in or even observed and I can postulate this much.
Men will always look to establish a pecking order, if they don’t do it themselves the women will do it for them, fact not fiction, seriously did you pay attention to “The Mack” So at this point the game of one ups man ship, is going to be played but this time the judge and the prize are one and the same.
Normally speaking, this game than men play to establish the rank and file involves the retelling of manly feats to include but not limited to, amounts of alcohol consumed, the number of wings ingested in a set time period, people that have been assaulted because they were unaware of what the deal was”, and the ability to lift heavy objects. Generally a good time is had by all and everyone can leave with ego’s intact.
Now when you add a woman such as the one described, it does nothing but raise the level of the game, because some how, some way you have to make your feats seem far superior to those of your contemporaries, and everyone has the chance to be a winner, but there is only going to be one. This idea that there can only be one winner undermines the structure of the game itself and chaos ensues, and by chaos I mean all men involved in the game will sink to the level of having to criticize each other and mitigate everyone’s experienced in order to gain favor.
It is the first past the post in the truest since of the word.
Where is the husband in all this? He was present right? Of course! Well he was at the far end of the table speaking with other men about topics that he wants to talk about, casually trading smiles with his wife as they make eye contact. This went on for the better part of the evening, with people moving about the chairs going and coming, from a distance it looks like people having a good time, because that is exactly what is happening.
As the evening progressed, The Mister decided that he was ready to go, as he wrapped up his conversation with the men present he casually and confidently walk to the other end of the table where his wife was tapped her on the shoulder and said, “ I’m ready” or “lets go” or some other saying that a person would use to articulate that they are ready to leave, and you know what happened?
Sweetie, cut the conversations right there, gathered her personal effects and ever so gently gave a group goodbye where everyone felt like she was talking to them a little more than everyone else on that end of the table.
And like that, the game was over.
Grown men for the WIN! See grown men don’t feel the need to have to compete against others for something that already “theirs”. See, that’s what “ it” is, before the what of course. Knowing this before the situation keeps a person so far ahead of the game that you won’t even want to play.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Frontline Vol 2: Just cause it's nothin don't mean nothin
This is a repost from nov 25 2008. Normally, I would edit and add some changes or something to that effect, but it is still just as good.
Enjoy
So, I went out last night. It was 35 cent wings at the mansion and my friends were already there, it was an otherwise good time. Then the sociologist that I use to explain and sometimes create devious schemes popped out and good part of my night was watching a bad situation unfold. Here we go people. And I am talking to the guys here
YOU SHOULD BE THE LAST PERSON TO TAKE A BODY SHOT OFF OF YOUR GIRL.
Seriously, last night there were several different contest happening at the same time in real time and the above perspective gave me a better understanding of the whole thing, kinda like when you look at atlanta from a plane or a town from the top of a mountain.
Now the first contest was the normal ones you see at any bar, women attempting to show how desirable they are, these are normally done through dancing with each other, wearing provocative clothes, dancing on bars, etc. Today's event was the body shot. There was the one girl, nice body, but it wasn't what it was 3 years ago. But she has a punchers chance at being "the hot chick". So anyway she and her friends are having body shots with the bouncer, then the bartender, then each other, then other chicks.
Then one participant outside of the core group became a competitor. At this point the game was over, she has already won the title of "Totally Awesome bar skank" congrats, but that doesn't mean the game is over. See even though the new girl is a day late and a dollar short, she was still going to wait to have a body shot done off of her and gracious as any first place winner in any sport, she took one off of the runner up.
After the winner took her tribute the girls boy(friend) took one off of her too. Now the fun part happens. This other guy is trying really hard to have a body shot off of the runner up and the boyfriend from my angle of view did not appear to want that.
I'm just saying, if your girl is on the bar, waiting to have a shot taken off of here, and your behavior is anything other than "Shit man have at it", then you are going to have a problem. So this discussion appears to ensue between all parties involved. I couldn't hear only see, but this line came to mind so I want everyone to reflect on this. Matter of fact, relive the greatness which is Pulp Fiction
"... I mean you saying that a foot massage don't mean nothin, but I'm saying it does. I have given a million ladies a million foot massages and they all meant something, but we act like they don't but they do, and that is what is so cool about them..."(pulp fiction)
Can you dig that.
So now the second place runner up becomes the prize for the new competition. Now as we watch as this unfolds the girl comes down off the bar and as the conversation continues the boyfriend leaves the scene for some reason or another. This is what happens.
Not even 3 minutes pass and the other guy has the girl back on the bar and body shots were ordered. As the boyfriend emerged from the bathroom I believe he was in slight disarray, I mean he has been disrespected at this point, but from who. The girlfriend or the other guy? Well the other guy bought him a shot to drink while he took one off of his girl, so the answer's HER!!!!!
Guys don't get mad at their women about what they do with other men. They get mad at the men. That is just a fact and the subject of a different blog all together, but the boyfriend left the scene again and this time the boyfriend left the scene again. I was joined by a colleague of mine who added the information that the guy(not the boyfriend)has previous experience with the girl in question. So instead of the game called, don't rub your lips on my girl. It became the game of
"IS THIS YO GIRL!!!!!"Now what is interesting is that the girl went on to be further separated from her boy, by his own device. The boyfriend did the whole, I am just going to make you my friend move and started with another shot and conversation to keep this guy from his girl. Brilliant!
Now as we watched the two men actively participate in this game, I knew that it could seriously pop off at any moment. Booze is in the blood and manhood is on the line, and anything can turn into the catalyst that sets off the powder keg that has been brewing since the body shots.
At this point my friend and I got closer to the action, I love watching people fight, but I needed to get a closer look and low and behold, the other guy went on about how if that dude looks at him wrong again he is going to punch him in his shit. My colleague then went on to tell me that this person is a real can/will do kind of guy and that if it goes down it is going to be nasty.
Well as the night progressed to the end of the evening and I think everyone lost.
The boyfriend was accused of being a drunk ass and so he didn't get laidThe other guy didn't fare any better and I believe he didn't even get an updated phone number
Well she...Hell I think she blames herself.
Enjoy
So, I went out last night. It was 35 cent wings at the mansion and my friends were already there, it was an otherwise good time. Then the sociologist that I use to explain and sometimes create devious schemes popped out and good part of my night was watching a bad situation unfold. Here we go people. And I am talking to the guys here
YOU SHOULD BE THE LAST PERSON TO TAKE A BODY SHOT OFF OF YOUR GIRL.
Seriously, last night there were several different contest happening at the same time in real time and the above perspective gave me a better understanding of the whole thing, kinda like when you look at atlanta from a plane or a town from the top of a mountain.
Now the first contest was the normal ones you see at any bar, women attempting to show how desirable they are, these are normally done through dancing with each other, wearing provocative clothes, dancing on bars, etc. Today's event was the body shot. There was the one girl, nice body, but it wasn't what it was 3 years ago. But she has a punchers chance at being "the hot chick". So anyway she and her friends are having body shots with the bouncer, then the bartender, then each other, then other chicks.
Then one participant outside of the core group became a competitor. At this point the game was over, she has already won the title of "Totally Awesome bar skank" congrats, but that doesn't mean the game is over. See even though the new girl is a day late and a dollar short, she was still going to wait to have a body shot done off of her and gracious as any first place winner in any sport, she took one off of the runner up.
After the winner took her tribute the girls boy(friend) took one off of her too. Now the fun part happens. This other guy is trying really hard to have a body shot off of the runner up and the boyfriend from my angle of view did not appear to want that.
I'm just saying, if your girl is on the bar, waiting to have a shot taken off of here, and your behavior is anything other than "Shit man have at it", then you are going to have a problem. So this discussion appears to ensue between all parties involved. I couldn't hear only see, but this line came to mind so I want everyone to reflect on this. Matter of fact, relive the greatness which is Pulp Fiction
"... I mean you saying that a foot massage don't mean nothin, but I'm saying it does. I have given a million ladies a million foot massages and they all meant something, but we act like they don't but they do, and that is what is so cool about them..."(pulp fiction)
Can you dig that.
So now the second place runner up becomes the prize for the new competition. Now as we watch as this unfolds the girl comes down off the bar and as the conversation continues the boyfriend leaves the scene for some reason or another. This is what happens.
Not even 3 minutes pass and the other guy has the girl back on the bar and body shots were ordered. As the boyfriend emerged from the bathroom I believe he was in slight disarray, I mean he has been disrespected at this point, but from who. The girlfriend or the other guy? Well the other guy bought him a shot to drink while he took one off of his girl, so the answer's HER!!!!!
Guys don't get mad at their women about what they do with other men. They get mad at the men. That is just a fact and the subject of a different blog all together, but the boyfriend left the scene again and this time the boyfriend left the scene again. I was joined by a colleague of mine who added the information that the guy(not the boyfriend)has previous experience with the girl in question. So instead of the game called, don't rub your lips on my girl. It became the game of
"IS THIS YO GIRL!!!!!"Now what is interesting is that the girl went on to be further separated from her boy, by his own device. The boyfriend did the whole, I am just going to make you my friend move and started with another shot and conversation to keep this guy from his girl. Brilliant!
Now as we watched the two men actively participate in this game, I knew that it could seriously pop off at any moment. Booze is in the blood and manhood is on the line, and anything can turn into the catalyst that sets off the powder keg that has been brewing since the body shots.
At this point my friend and I got closer to the action, I love watching people fight, but I needed to get a closer look and low and behold, the other guy went on about how if that dude looks at him wrong again he is going to punch him in his shit. My colleague then went on to tell me that this person is a real can/will do kind of guy and that if it goes down it is going to be nasty.
Well as the night progressed to the end of the evening and I think everyone lost.
The boyfriend was accused of being a drunk ass and so he didn't get laidThe other guy didn't fare any better and I believe he didn't even get an updated phone number
Well she...Hell I think she blames herself.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Frontline Vol: 1.1: Culture shock therapy
First I want to say that this is actually a revised version of a blog written several months ago when I first got back to the states. Anyway, here you go
What do you know; I made it back to the states. Re-integration into American society starts at the airport.
FACT.
No really, I thought my head was going to explode due to the sudden rush of the ability to understand EVERY SINGLE WORD spoken by EVERY SINGLE PERSON. Now I have only been home a week and to be honest, people don't have much to say.
Well that is true, just not accurate, people have plenty to say, about themselves, other people, etc, but most of it is generally for their own benefit. Actions on the other hand will always be what either corroborates what your mouth says or becomes states evidence against it.
That’s what is real, I got back from korea and my friend nigel came and scooped me up from the marta station no problem. Not to mention some other things that Nigel has rode shotgun with me on. See, ACTIONS. Sure I should have called before I left, gave people my information and all that stuff that makes it easier for people to prepare for my return. Honestly, I wanted none of that. I didn’t want to be surrounded by a bunch of people, I didn’t want a party, I didn’t want fifty-leven people at the airport. I was so torn from being happy that I am home and being torn from my home I wasn’t in an emotional position to deal with everyone’s emotions, I wanted one thing
I wanted waffle house, seriously! One year, six months, 4 days and 18 hours later, the only thing I wanted was a waffle and a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich. Oh Sweet Jesus, that meal at the waffle house would go on my top list of meals in no particular order that are the most memorable.
A few days later, I found myself on my big brother Jay’s couch. I don’t think I could ever repay the kindness that he and his wife Felicity have shown me over the last 10 years. I have been holding it down basically since I touched down because I didn’t have a job waiting on me when I got back. I force myself to not get comfortable and I make it my business to look for a job that can get me off of their couch.
Jay says, “don’t worry about it, stay as long as you want”.
See both he and Nigel’s actions corroborate the feelings of their hearts. See these men as well as the women that they hold close to them, and others in my social circle are on that frontline every day. Their actions validate their words and not the other way around. Hence the name of this series of blogs is all about the actions of people. Everything, under the title of frontline is all real filtered slightly to be read by the people from me. So sit back and enjoy FRONTLINE: Observations of an Expat…That’s BACK!
What do you know; I made it back to the states. Re-integration into American society starts at the airport.
FACT.
No really, I thought my head was going to explode due to the sudden rush of the ability to understand EVERY SINGLE WORD spoken by EVERY SINGLE PERSON. Now I have only been home a week and to be honest, people don't have much to say.
Well that is true, just not accurate, people have plenty to say, about themselves, other people, etc, but most of it is generally for their own benefit. Actions on the other hand will always be what either corroborates what your mouth says or becomes states evidence against it.
That’s what is real, I got back from korea and my friend nigel came and scooped me up from the marta station no problem. Not to mention some other things that Nigel has rode shotgun with me on. See, ACTIONS. Sure I should have called before I left, gave people my information and all that stuff that makes it easier for people to prepare for my return. Honestly, I wanted none of that. I didn’t want to be surrounded by a bunch of people, I didn’t want a party, I didn’t want fifty-leven people at the airport. I was so torn from being happy that I am home and being torn from my home I wasn’t in an emotional position to deal with everyone’s emotions, I wanted one thing
I wanted waffle house, seriously! One year, six months, 4 days and 18 hours later, the only thing I wanted was a waffle and a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich. Oh Sweet Jesus, that meal at the waffle house would go on my top list of meals in no particular order that are the most memorable.
A few days later, I found myself on my big brother Jay’s couch. I don’t think I could ever repay the kindness that he and his wife Felicity have shown me over the last 10 years. I have been holding it down basically since I touched down because I didn’t have a job waiting on me when I got back. I force myself to not get comfortable and I make it my business to look for a job that can get me off of their couch.
Jay says, “don’t worry about it, stay as long as you want”.
See both he and Nigel’s actions corroborate the feelings of their hearts. See these men as well as the women that they hold close to them, and others in my social circle are on that frontline every day. Their actions validate their words and not the other way around. Hence the name of this series of blogs is all about the actions of people. Everything, under the title of frontline is all real filtered slightly to be read by the people from me. So sit back and enjoy FRONTLINE: Observations of an Expat…That’s BACK!
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